#dont just become food for worms and we dont just go right back to the beginning
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the boys' first commentary on keating's lessons being cameron and neil saying 'that was weird' / 'but different' is getting to me like the entire film is a narrative on the suffocation of heavy academia and how it prioritises certain subjects (medicine, law, business, engineering) while condemning creativity and passion and how institutions are promoting conformity and grades-over-wellbeing teaching methods more and more as you both move up the elitism scale and as time goes on, and how that was okay for these kids and like so many generations before them they were going to let it happen to them, but one teacher was different. one single teacher told them to seize the day and make their lives extraordinary and he made them look directly at the state of things, and for a little while it was beautiful but they're just kids; how could they ever change things? and sure enough it catches up to them and the institution wins because it always does and suddenly the suffocating thought of what neil is so sure his life is going to be is so daunting and terrifying that he cant even face it
#he's just like me fr just without the gun#like yeah the world is actually a harrowing monotonous place and my generation is the last one to play outside as children#and if you dont chase a certain career path or excel in certain subjects then you're deemed inherently lesser#and your success is measured by your bank account and there is no warmth#like damn this film realeased in the 80s and set in the 50s had no business capturing the terror of being young in our society so perfectly#the ONLY saving grace is the 'o captain my captain' scene at the end#it's proof that the beautiful passion-filled independent lives the boys dreamed about#dont just become food for worms and we dont just go right back to the beginning#there's hope at least even if half the time im too busy BAWLING MY FUCKING EYES OUT to even see the screen at that point#godddd girl watching this doing an 'academic subject' that you despise and on bad days think might be the thing to beat you#but you do it anyway bc you're stuck now and besides your parents kinda made you do it when all you ever wanted to do was write#but that cant happen bc writing isnt 'good' the way economics is 'good' and maybe#maybe all that'll happen is i'll lose and start a career in business and work an office job for two decades#in a world that's melting and owned by corporations that want to bleed me dry#maybe that's all there is#i need a fucking cigarette#dps
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do you ever tjink about the ancients? i mean, i dont remember if thats what theyre called- the buncha clowns that mad ethe iterators, you know what i mean.
What were they like? As a culture, they seem so... prideful, arrogant, and aloof to us. All we see is a few fractions of people, and all the stuff they left behind. But... the echoes are a poor representation of them as a whole. If they werent, then we'd see a lot more echoes, no?
All we really know about them, is that they existed, they were quite capable bioengineers, and they worshipped ascension. Although, what even is ascension? What is void fluid? it apparently dissolves matter, into... something? nothing? hard to say. We also know that it is slowly advancing, all the time, always burning away the ashes of old civilizations.
What does a fluid like that do to a living being?
I think i have an idea.
Rain World works by cycles. Its the core of its story, escaping the cycles. They seem perfect, in that nothing can truly die no matter what happens to them. What this actually means is questionable, though. and we need to figure that out first. Do things just come back? Is it timeline shenanigans? What about old age?
Well... I don't think its so simply as things just coming back to life. To be clear, there is not one system of cycles in Rain World. There are cycles as a measurement of time similar to a day, cycles as a broad philisophical concept of the repitition of history, and cycles as an inescapable loop of life and death and life again.
One: We know from Pebbles that even non-sentient creatures are aware of the cycles, perhaps similar to the way non-sentient creatures desire food and love? So it applies to everything.
Two: We know from the game itself, that the cycles involve Time. When you die, the cycle doesnt get randomized again, its the exact same cycle as before.
This. Has some interesting implications. When its said that iterators are separate from the cycles, that means that they cannot die conventionally. Because if they did... than they would go back to the last time they rested (which would likely be when they were first created how fun!).
Either way, it seems that when you die, your memories are transferred to an identical timeline starting from when you last rested. This, and the echoes, prove the existance of souls. Every living thing appears to have a soul, "From the microbes in the processing strata to [Five Pebbles]."
Now back to the point; void fluid seems to dissolve anything, and id bet that includes biological matter, just slowly. Perhaps the Void Worms have some sort of healing factor that outpaces the disintegration, perhaps they are souls. Not important right now.
Here is my overall theory:
When you swim into the void fluid, you begin to dissolve very slowly, just like anything else. But something else happens to your soul. Specifically, It seems to become detached from your body as you descend. And this process, has nothing to do with void fluid itself.
Because to ascend, you first need to break past the urges of life. If you dont, you fail. Your soul detaches from your body, but not from the world, and thus, not from the cycles. Leaving you stuck as an echo of your old self.
But if you succeed... as your soul and body break apart... you keep swimming. Further and further. And... you truly, finally, die. Perhaps you end up in a paradise... perhape you disappear completely. We don't know.
But you have broken free from the cycles.
Was it worth it?
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10 Minute Power Hour Starters
"You gotta warn me because I was just about to yell 'Remember who made you cum?' and how embarrassing would that shit have been?"
"We've got ____ here. Can you believe it?"
"Alright, shut the fuck up, everybody."
"No, not the stegosaurus!"
"Oh! We're giving samples. I've done this before."
"Can you Urkel your way to a win?"
"I don't love this."
"Glug glug glug, now I'm drunk."
"WOO! Show us how it's done, baby!"
"It's what all the kids on youtube are doing."
"Where is this piece? Did you steal my piece?"
"Bro, I'm killing it."
"Am I right, the youth?"
"You didn't even savor the peelies."
"You just ripped it off like a barbarian."
"Sizzle sizzle, baby bitch."
"It's gonna be really dramatic and cool!"
"I don't want a pumpkin growing in my belly."
"What a fool he is, to get wood confused with food items."
"I told my mom to help me clean it up and she said 'no thank you'."
"___ said I look like the floor of an arcade."
"My heart is beating so fast right now."
"Spin the wheel, you bitch."
"We're visible to lots of people, but it feels great to be truly seen by someone special."
"Well, not like my BEST best friend but he's definitely in that class."
"That's too much plastic crap."
"You look like something they'd serve at 2 in the morning at iHop."
"I feel like i just came back from a mythical creature bukake."
"This is what the ladies are into. A big ol brain horn of goo."
"I'm an ex-man. Which means I used to be a man."
"Yeah you won. Everyone's great. Three people need to go to the hospital but hooray you won."
"Thanks for invalidating my win, dude. I worked hard for this."
"You popped which means you are legally obligated to not stop."
"Please. No laughter."
"I feel you should've said something."
"I has bro! Do you has bro??"
"Well, I think you get double points for that."
"You got a serious buttchin and you need to admit it and use it!"
"YOU DID THIS!"
"We're losin it. We're losin it! ___, we're losin it!"
"This shirt's better now."
"No don't! ___, fucking, god damn it!"
"That was the most legit anger I've heard out of you in so long."
"Why is it filled with chestnuts?! And a lemon!"
"Thanks for celebrating my birthday. This was really fun and not depressing."
"Hold on! I have to do some research."
"Jesus. Reginald. Christ."
"You did it! It's a nightmare."
"What do you think? You think i look sexy?"
"Am i out kissin vandals and vagrants?!"
"Imagine I'm rubbing your thighs."
"I'm going to open a tube of goo now."
"You're a sucky friend!"
"I'm doing all of the colors, you fuck!"
"I know what makes green! Magic and jesus!"
"Oh cool! It looks not that great!"
"It looks like somebody's pancreas exploded over here."
"Anyone wanna be on camera?"
"Drink it, you armadillo."
"Have you witnessed me?"
"Ew, ewww- EEEWWW!"
"Nooo, I don't wanna be the hulk anymore."
"There we go. That's a big boy."
"Are you gonna attack or are you too scared?"
"Admittedly you wield a lot of power that I was not aware of."
"It makes magic fun!"
"That's not what I wanted at all."
"I feel like a cat that just fell in the bathtub."
"YES! Eat the worms!"
"Early 2000s is retro?"
"What is the best time of day to shake a baby?"
"Oh no! It's making the connection that I'm it's mother!"
"We dont have all day. Im becoming sterile wearing these jock straps."
"So you can stick your little emoji faces in here when you write your diary about how much God has betrayed you."
"That is one of the worst shirts I've seen in my life. Put it on."
"What? Oh, I suppose you want to KISS about it?!"
"I dunno. I guess cuz I'm an asshole."
"What do you mean 'is that really what it looks like'? It looks magical!"
"In this world we must all tilt.... But we also a-whirl."
"Look around you. All you see is death and chaos... Here is a kirby."
"Every birthday is like the grim reaper moving one peg on the abacus of your life."
"Everytime I try to solve it i'm just making things worse. Which is just an analogy for my life."
"I was brewin' in the nutsack of an older man."
"It was like having Chuck-e-cheese right in your house."
"The ooze doesn't smell great."
"Parents killed each other to get this thing."
"I threw up a lot more in the 90s than I do now."
"It's about to erase your memory."
"____, Im so sorry, but there's something your mother and I have to tell you."
"It's not your fault! Don't ever think it's your fault!"
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hii time for a bearded dragon / rolly ramble :3
i do not believe that bearded dragons can only experience basic emotions (fear, pleasure, aggression is what i typically see listed or varying synonyms and similar emotions)
i genuinely cannot believe that at all.
yesterday i was crying and shaking after just a lot of stress and emotions built up and i kinda just broke, it happens every now and then and im all good now (its a bad habit that comes with me bottling up emotions and not knowing how to express them properly, so all it takes sometimes is something small to happen and i just snap)
and while i was sitting in my room crying i heard rolly readjust on her basking rock so i went over to sit by her tank, i like watching her and it gave me something positive to focus on
after a minute of me sitting there sobbing, she jumped off her rock and ran up to the wall of her tank closest to me and started kind of moving back and forth like she does when she sees me getting worms, only towards me instead of the wall of her tank thats closest to the worms. i figured she was hungry but she kept doing it even when i showed i had nothing and when i put my hand in the tank, she ran up and put her front feet on my hand which is what she does when she wants to be picked up.
she just cuddled with me. i sat on the floor against the wall and she couldve moved if she wanted but she didnt. she didnt move an inch until i calmed down, and even then she only readjusted. she didnt want to explore. she didnt want to run around. she didnt want food. she just wanted to snuggle.
she has never done that before. the only time shes ever ran into my hand like that is either one time when she pooped and wanted out and then sometimes in the bath when shes done and wants out. i checked, her tank was completely clean.
she wanted to comfort me i think. i dont even think thats me giving her too many human traits or qualities or anthropomorphizing her (i think thats the term for that? when you treat an animal like what its doing are human traits and qualities, like being motherly and needing to be comforted after things, ect) but i think that was genuinely her wanting to comfort me. after she laid her eggs and she got a soak she refused to go back in her tank and just wanted to cuddle. i think she needed that comfort too.
despite everything with science and research into beardies saying they have a very underdeveloped emotions part of the brain and thats why they cant experience complex emotions, i just. cant believe thats true at all.
COUNTLESS stories and videos of bearded dragons doing what rolly did when i was crying. of beardies having full black beards and stress marks until their owner calmed down. of becoming depressed when their owner is on a trip or gone for a while and refuses to eat or barely will at all until they come back, and they perk up immediately.
running to greet their owners, refusing to explore unless that specific person is there, trusting them more than others. comforting them and going to them for comfort.
when we went to the vet because we only had a small cardboard box with no lid i had to just carry rolly in, and despite a big dog barking and growling at her, she wasnt bothered at all and just stayed on my shirt. during the vet appointment when the vet was done checking her heart rate and such, she practically jumped out of his hands and ran right onto my shirt and just stayed there.
today i learned that rolly knows how to wipe food off of her face- she got some mango and before she went to lay on her logs (which she does after every single meal, its right below her uv light which does spread to her whole tank but the logs are right below it) she stuck her face into the gap between them and kept moving her head around until the mango stuck to her chin was wiped off and then she immediately went all the way up and laid down.
i dont see how they possibly cant be smart, at least for a reptile, or how they cant experience complex emotions or feel empathy.
as i said, i dont even think this is me giving human traits to her actions, i think that is genuinely what she is doing. i dont think im seeing this the wrong way becaue there really isnt any other reason for her to do what she did when i was crying- it was very close to the time her lights turn off and she knows that and never wants out that whole like hour before theyre turned off but she wanted to just lay on me so bad. and i saw those stress marks but they faded as i calmed down and collected myself.
i have never calmed down so quickly when that happens. when my emotions explode like that and i just cant comprehend anything i have never calmed down so quickly but it only took a few minutes. she was warm from basking, she didnt want to move at all, and she just laid there while i pet her. having that warmth on me and the texture from her scales let me focus on the positives, same with having her with me in general because oh my fucking stars i love this lizard.
im glad shes still pretty young. shes five, six this year i assume, and the youngest you ever really see a beardie die of age is eight so i likely have no less than three years with her. she has a good diet and is taken care of well so im honestly expecting her to make it much longer, shes very healthy, very active, she eats well and has good uvb, good temperatures, her tank is deep cleaned weekly and the accessories in it are cleaned whenever they need to be as well as with the rest of her tank.
bearded dragons are incredible. i want to get another one when she eventually passes, although i hope i have a very, very long time until that happens. rolly is teaching me so, so much about reptile care and how to handle them probably, both in terms of. actually handling them like picking them up and also just how to understand them.
id love to get a juvenile or baby beardie someday, they sound like a really good learning experience- difficult to adjust to im sure but also a very good learning experience.
anyways yeah. i absolutely cannot understand how bearded dragons could possibly NOT have complex emotions or feel affection and empathy and love. rolly is absolutely incredible and i love her to the moon and back and also please lmk if youd be willing to draw her in an art trade pleaseee <333
beardies are so so very smart, way smarter than we give them credit for (my favorite kind of creature- so, so smart but also literally so stupid i love animals like that), i want to study them when im older, and i do NOT believe they dont experience some kind of complex emotions and some kind of empathy
ramble over <3
#not kidding btw if any of you guys are willing to draw rolly PLEASE message me on discord#discord is cheddar_inq btw lmk if youre adding me and your username !!!!#i am very very willing to draw some art in exchange- i can do slugcats + rw lizards + mayybe iterators but not very well#i can also do cats / dogs / wolves / ect really any feline or canine#tbh just show me some characters i could draw or give me a few options and theres a very slim chance i wont be able to do any#i can do scavengers as long as youre ok with slightly wonky anatomy which is the same with iterators but#yk !!!!!!#bearded dragon#bearded dragons#beardies#beardie#rolly says hi#kit yips
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The Adventure Zone: Ethersea, Dust 2, and live shows quotes:
• Trees don't grow on trees!
• - Look at this stuff isnt it neat?
- Yes I think that your collection is complete now.
• - What I will also give you with a nat 20 is... harmarbahbahbahbah
- Excuse me what? I missed that last part
- Harnarbarbarbarbar.
- I dont see how that helps us but, thank you?
• - Zis has nothing to do wiz us!
- Okay. Tel me why. Then you explain it.
- Okay zo the magic coming from the zingularity, that we are going to collect, with, with this crystal, yes? Zis worm, uhh is not, by its nature, ze zingularity! Yes?
- Right but its probably got magic... all over it.
- No! No Ze water... zis water dat we are in, right? It is... it is... Okay. Zink if it like this: Imagina a glass of water. And you drop some uh, coloring into it. Some dye in it. Yes?
- Alright. Alright.
- So zen you are going to put objects into this water, yes? Zey will um, become covered in ze dye. Because it is in the water, yes? Now if zey are zings that abzorb things, if they are different colors when zey go in, ze differences between the objects will make ze dye in ze water affect zem differently. Yes? Zis is how ze Ether, in the Ethersea works.
- Riiiiight.... so he should just try talking to it-
- No! Zey worm is just zoaked in ze magic! And so
- Whys the worm here then?
- Why are- why are we here?!
- Whoa... whoa... that may be... might be even beyond my-
- No iz cause we fell into ze clam! That waz not a metaphysical question! We are here because we vell into ze clam. Listen. Listen. I know this is weird right? Giant worm! An uh, we're very small, and we're looking for the giant, ya know zing that makes things small and giant, right? But zis is not it! Zis building is not it, zose screw things are not it, ze worm is not it. Zey have all just been affected by ze same magic we are trying to find, but zat magic is not here. I have studied magic literally all my life. And zis is not it. Uh zis is like- Amber, I would not tell you how to uh punch a shark with your uh uh furious fists; Zoox, I would not tell you how to swim with the farts that come out of your feet. So I need you to trust me that I know that zis- the only thing that can happen here, is that zis worm sees us, as food like it sees zese, uh, things in ze wall, and eats us and poops us out as this white uh, tree gross stuff that comes out of its butt. Right? So...
- Ah yea that's fair.
- I love it when he's compelling.
• - Uhh it's a 6 and a 9 dude, heh heh heh
- Oh I get it.
- (fake laughter)
- Yea so if it-
- Dad um, theres uh... sex number, uhhhh I guess. Sorry its so (unintelligable) young thing for us young bucks
- I think it was invented in like 2005
- Yea thats pretty recent. We just came up with it. Hey dad if you try to follow up on this gag at all, I will hang up
- (loud, real laughter)
- This is not a "yes, and" situation
- No no no no
- It's not a "yes and" it's a "no thanks."
- I'll just open another window, lemme see
- Im about to close all the windows on my computer, and then...
- (gasp) oh my god
- (laughter)
• The problem with being lied to and manipulated iz that now, in retrospect I can not tell what waz a good day and what seemed like a good day because zis is how you wanted me to feel. Zis is the problem that I have. It iz not that I hate chu, it iz that I do not know what iz me, and what iz you. And what is ze church, and what it is that I want. Because for so long, you and the other teachers only saw me as a vessel to be filled with your ideas, and your beliefs. And you would do anything to have me accept those. I am afraid of every other feeling because I do not know if they are yours or if they are mine, but my resentment is my own. And zis is the anger I will keep coming back to, to understand who I am. And what fuels me is knowing that I am not you. As- I do not want to be only resentment, yes? But when I see your face and the symbol, and the church, it's all that I am. Pleasure doing business with you.
• - Amber who is zis fellow over here? He seems... I dont know, important? Weird?
- lemme think about it (out of character) do I know him?
- Roll uhh an investigation check.
- Kay. Sixteen.
- Plus anything?
- Nuh clean.
- Um they look familiar but you can't quite put your finger on it.
- (back in character) Well they look familiar but I cant quite put my finger on it. Ah well!
• You might be different, ah but uh different is not bad. It just means that you will have other strengths and other challenges along ze way. But I have seen you handle yourself very well in several different um, absolutely difficult and terrifying situations. And I think the only thing that is wrong with you is the same thing zat is wrong with everybody else, which is we are all just trying to understand ourselves, and understand who we are and uh what we are doing.
• - It's one of the jobs that was offered to you
- noooo which one? Was it one of the good ones?
- Make uhhh
- Perception?
- Yea perception or investigation, she just flashed it at you real quick.
- That's uhh wow a natural 1 I dont even know if that's paper. Hey! Whats with that banana you got!
• - Well is it coloquial or is it irrelevant?
- It's actually pronounced the cloaca, is where hes at
• - Do you have a jacket zat I could have? Zis is unrelate-
- They will cover your whole body
- No its unrelated, I just needed a new jacket
- Umm no! What are you talking about?
- I just thought that I would ask
- Have I ever come to your domicile and said like "hey! Selling any pants today?" That's a wild thing to do!
- Oh I did not say selling I was hoping you would just give it to me.
- Have I ever showed up at your domicile and said "gimme pants! Its me ya pal uncle Joshie gimme pants today!"
- We haven't known each other this long.
- No we haven't! Thats exactly right! We wicked have not!
• We don't want your boomerang dude
• (in deep voice) I agree, lets continue on our sacred mission
- Oh shit, Optimus Prime is here?!
- Autobots, transform!!
- Sam Witwicky
- Sam Witwicky!
- Sam Witwicky!!
• - Sam Witwicky did you bring the robot weed?
• - You know hes kinda squiggly and uhhhh wiggly... he is an octo- holy shit.
- What?
- Squiggles was ze smiley face!
- What?
- Squiggle- Squiggles- Squiggles! Skittles! Was ze smiley face!
- Travis is broken!
- Squiddly diddly?!
- Skittles? Squiggles.... was ze smiley face avatar at ze auction.
• Griffin trying out different voices for Nermal made me laugh. It doesnt really work to do in text because he does the same line multiple times in increasingly ridiculous voices.
• I could being your face down to a steak, cut it into nice strips for my brood
• - Im going to throw the uh, chance lance at the laser eye
- Okay. You didn't say it was an eye, but I like that. Thats cool.
- Well it is!
- Where else is it gonna go its not a laser belly button
- Well wait wait wait a minute! Im the one that came up with it, so I oughta say what it is.
- Yea what is it?
- It's a laser eye! Were you not listening?
• - Tell me about its smooth endoplasmic reticulum, Travis
- It's sexy as fuck!
• Point at the face that looks like your face. For pain I mean.
• Shrets not reaaaal. Its just a naaaame.
• - I got an 8
- I got a rock
• You can not call it a gift if it was not asked for or offered. You imposed this on us. This is not how a gift works. And second; your understanding that strengths come from- through suffering? This is not the way. This is not an acceptable... pathway for us to move forward.
• - Thats a 10!
- Yea... no
- How much defense could a chain have??
- It's not about defense-
- He makes a good point, Griffin
- It's not about defense! Its about you threading a chain-link with a crossbow bolt that you have tied a rope onto! There is no universe in which this-
- Well when you say it like that, Griffin, it sounds wild!
- Yea! It is wild! You see- Cambria laughs at you! The big worm monster laughs at you!
- Wait a minute wait! Wait a minute. Now when you make an attack roll youre rolling again somebodys armor class, correct?
(All talking over each other now)
- Did- you- dad-
- Now wait, wait a minute-
- Objection! The- the judges
- Can we talk about this?
- I don't wanna talk about anything else!
- All the jury members stand up and shout objection! At the same time.
- I don't have to win over a judge- a jury
- And the judge is like this isn't how court works, but I agree! Ob-
- I just have to win over you!
- Yea you're not gonna do that! Ive made my position perfectly clear. You can say you rolled a 10, what you did was you rolled a 2 plus 8. No way!
- Alright
- I wanna hear dad out!
- Yea!
- No no, let him speak
- Okay no no! Make your impashioned armor class argument.
- Now I'm just a simple fantasy lawyer, but my client
• stop rolling thunderclap damage!
• Herosim isn't some title that you earn for yourself and then you get to trot around. Its a thing that you do.
• If TAZ has a unifying theme, I've had a lot of thoughts about it, and if TAZ- The Tazmasphere- has a unifying theme, it is bullying people in administration positions.
• - If you have one of these, its called a map, and it will show you how to get to ze parlor, hmm?
- Uh okay. And she goes over to uh a- a desk, a small sort of information desk, and picks up a piece of paper and jots something on it and then hands it to you and its just a note that says "just fucking follow me!"
• - His name? Franz....ch.
- Franged?
- Frenched
- Sorry, Franche?
- Can you guys not make a big deal out of it everytime?? Im trying to- I don't have a billion names written time this time!
• - The more you lose, the more important it is to protect what you still have, you pessimistic asshole. Because there are children that are in Founders Wake that have never seen a fucking polar bear! And we have ze chance to save things so that- maybe you dont care right now. But maybe they will! Huh?? Maybe its not about you, you selfish piece of shit!
• You zink you are very special because you feel this way. You zink that you have a big picture kind of mentality and that you see things in a clear way that no one else. But I'm going to tell you a secret, Sir. I grew up surrounded by people like you. People who live their life and make their decisions because of some promise of a better zing coming right? And zat everyzing they do now is all worth it because of whats to come, right? But ze problem is when you are looking at ze big picture, ze the things that you often miss, right, iz ze little things. And so you become so focused on the big picture and working towards ze next thing, zat you lose focus on how you are affecting the world you are in now. You think the world will be better huh? The next one. Do you know how it got to be like that?? Because of assholes like you who focused on "better" and ze next thing. And growing and taking more and being more and having more and instead, maybe if you focused a little bit more on what was going on now, we wouldn't be in ze fucking predicament here under the ocean, surrounded by polluted water, zat we are. Did you ever think about this??
• But with her many arms she rips sun from sky and boils all the water- misbehavior
• That's why Gary Gygax used to say "this is my little nephew, Matt Mercer"
• It's a good point, but not relevant.
• I've always had the sneaking suspicion that when people aren't with us, theyre not really doing much of anything. Have you guys felt that ever?
• - Nah we, me and Dylan can handle it
- Whos dylan??
- Sorry??
- Uh, from- from deeper in the ship, the- the door to the bridge opens up, and you all see just this skeezy waistoid of a dude walk in and hes like "Hey what's up? What's going on?"
- Sorry who are you?
- Who is Dylan??
- This is my friend Dylan.
(Laughter)
• I- no! I don't think so at all! Im not with them. No I'm- I- Im- I like the mortal world! I like the- the I like the oceans, I like the- most of the people Ive met and I like all the creatures Ive met. I- I dont know why anybody would want to... get rid of this! I... I understand that people have lives and memories and- and all these things about the past, but, you know I recently learned that I'm not gonna live in it. I- I don't have that past to live in. So I don't wanna tunnel into... whatever Nirvanna or whatever these people wanna do. I just... I wanna enjoy this beautiful world that we have; this existence we have! I wanna appreciate it! I don't- I don't see any sense in trying to go somewhere else. Im! Not! With! Them!
• - My will
- What?
- My will
- Oh okay.
- Oh he did it in a scary voice. I hated that.
-Yea idk why..
- Like the devil-
- I can't hear it on my end, hows it sound?
- It sounds fucking scary man
- It sounds terrible
- It's the scariest-
- I'm trying to turn it off so please- please ignore me (demonic laugh)
- The volumes are too low and I tried to change this one slider and now I sound like this!
- It's wonderful to me that you got this fun new sound board in our penultimate episode.
- It's not- Ive had it for a little bit but I don't normally have these.
• - Your mind reels with a question as you blink away tears: where the shit am I? To which your own mind answers: I do not know
- Okay Griffin, but whats happening in the game??
• Yes! He's gained the power of literacy, and now he's unstoppable!
• - You have thwarted me again, Springfield
- Im walking away, I cant hear you actually Im walking away
- Wait
- Nope. Im not gonna! Im gonna walk away!
- Okay. I wish-a you wouldn't.
- Okay I'll see ya around. Bye!
- That's a weird thing to say after you said that cool shit about Siren
- I know but you keep talking to me and now its weird!
- You're not walking away!
- I want to though!
- You keep responding
- Okay now I'm definitely gonna walk away
- Doesn't sound like it
- Aw man.
-(Quieter) Okay I'm walking away
- Hey wait come back!
- Yea?
- What are you still doing here, man?
- God dammit!
• -You ask a fucking lot of questions. I get it, that its like-
- It's my whole deal!
- Yea but even so... it's... it's... tiring.
- What else would you have me dooo?
- You could just chill.
- I'm not The Statementer! Like I don't come when youre doing your job I don't-
- I've got a question for you.
- What is it?
- What did birds evolve from? (Out of character) and then I go
- Well the science-
- (dinosaur screeches) And a bunch of-
- No you didn't let me answer!
- Velociraptors jump through the windows!
• - Do you have a spectral pen, um?
- A regular pen that he can hold? When he's not-
- Yes it's fine I can man-manifest myself into a corporeal form. Please excuse me for just a second.
- Hang on just a second-
(Very loud obnoxious screaming from Justin)
• - Mr. Parsons? It seems a missive has come for you.
- Shhh. I hate this part.
• My name is Augustus Parsons; and I'm totally nuts.
• - That was a NICE ectoplasmic blast
- That's what she said!
0 notes
Text
The Sun Sets With You
Pairing: Blossutch
Fandom: Powerpuff Girls
Rating: T
Word count: 6k
Warnings: Major Character Death.
Note: I am so excited to finish this fic! Thank you so much to @creativecilla for commissioning time and time again. She asked for a sad and angsty fic so I hope I delivered! (She also asked for a happy fic so dont worry that's coming soon)
Don't worry there will be a little bonus after this so don't come for my throat too hard.
Anyways, I hope that you enjoy this because I had the time of my life writing it while crying.
Thanks for reading <3
(the italicized is flashbacks just in case ya confused :)
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
“Your love is like a sunset, the longer I wait, it slowly fades into the sea, making a beautiful distraction, As loneliness and despair creep from behind like the shadow of the night.” -Albion Gremory
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
The gate waits patiently for her to cross. It's black and shiny as if it were polished just for her. She has been here for almost an hour and yet she hasn't moved an inch. The bouquet of flowers she spent just as long picking out are starting to get annoyed by her lack of movement and although they don’t have a voice or emotions, she can tell they are growing weary too.
She doesn’t understand. Why couldn’t she simply walk forward and make this easy? She was a trained assassin, a spy at the very core where nothing could challenge her except for this field of grass. Grass that is bright green and thriving yet underneath its healthy roots, is a minefield of bodies. It's odd to think about. The care and water used to make sure that the green is at its brightest and the stone looks nice but in reality, it won’t matter.
Nothing matters anymore.
Her grip tightens on the poor flowers. A frail red ribbon holds them together instead of being wrapped in her ginger hair where it belongs. The last time she wore it was the day...it's been a while.
The cemetery has a familiar feel to it. She’s been here before. She has been here many times and has even memorized the grounds. However, this time is much more...intimate. A much more personal experience.
It was never personal because in her line of work, this was normal and happened often. You would come into the office and hear about the poor sucker that got shot, stabbed or blown to bits, grab a hopefully fresh cup of coffee and make sure that you don’t end up the same as them. It was all a part of the job to join the unavoidable circle of life.
Before it was just people whose identities changed day in and day out to avoid this particular outcome. To avoid becoming worm food and having fresh flowers at the bottom of your name. Death never meant anything to her but an end we all have to face. It never meant to stop and think about your life because she didn’t have one to live.
There was no glory waiting for her back home as she finished another mission. There was no dream to achieve because she plagued those of her mind years ago. Warmth and desire from others could not be tolerated. It was dangerous to have anyone close to you but hurt even more when they were gone.
Her dreams had been swept into the night and burned like a fallen star. They were meant for rare quiet days where she could close her eyes and have a glimpse of another chance at life and then it would be over and she couldn’t allow anyone to hold her back. But just as there are dreams, nightmares will surface too.
This was a nightmare only for her eyes. It was common for members of their work to come and pay respects if they got time but for this, she asked that she would be the first. And only then was anyone else allowed.
The months that ate away at her aching heart caused her to be the opposite. She said she had gone, said her dues and the rest followed. Her lies now corrupted her normal life, if you could even call it normal.
So she became the last person and perhaps that's for the best. Even in death, she keeps him waiting. But unlike the other times, he couldn’t leave or say anything about it. The silence of the coffin was enough for her to know that she might get the last words like always but she doesn’t want them.
She would rather keep her words to herself, her mouth stapled shut than utter the last words. She also knew that he would rather listen to her all day than have a moment of silence.
So here she is. A little black dress that poofs out gently at the bottom just above her knees. It was the same dress she had worn on their mission in Italy years ago. It had ended up on the hotel bathroom floor much sooner than expected, however this time the smell of sandalwood and pine had been washed out.
She feels like a housewife ready to see her lost husband coming back from the war in the form of a corpse. The only difference is her vision won’t include the golden bands. Her thumb grazes her ring finger feeling nothing but bare skin and it pains her to think that she was so close. So close to a dream.
She inhales and exhales. Her ability to control her emotions is unlike anyone else. If she chooses to be a stone wall, then nothing will make her crumble. For years she had seen bloodshed and violence. Encountered dangerous people and never once had a hard time sleeping.
Steps take her closer and she feels herself start to decay brick by brick.
Every breath comes out colder and slower and she doesn’t have to look to know she's right in front of it because all the oxygen surrounding her has left and replaced with a frosted void she's grown used to over these past few months.
“Hello.” Her voice is firm and polite.
Formal. She’s too formal and she can practically feel him rolling in his grave to tell her to die it down. Die it down. She hums at that thought and complies with the request that wasn’t even asked but she knows him.
Her feet slip out of her heels, the ones he had bought randomly. The ones she had danced in as he spun her slowly. Her toes feel the dew on the grass. She hates the feeling, her exposed skin starts to itch and irritate her but that just reminds her of her beating heart. So she forces herself to rest on her knees but keeps her eyes shut. Bravery was never something she lacked.
But being brave with her vulnerable emotions had never come easy.
“Just open them.” She scolds herself. No one is around but she feels like the entire world is staring at her.
This isn't work.
This isn’t a mission.
This is him.
Slowly her eyes flutter open to reveal the truth she tried to conceal. The wall inside of her has fallen. There's a suffocating way about this all. She's a woman of logic, a see it before believe it kind-of-person. It's a crumbling mess that turns her into ruins.
And that's when it hits her.
Like the fall of Rome, there are no survivors. There is no happy ending here. Everything leads to Rome...everything leads to heartbreak eventually.
Tears overwhelm everything else. Blossom Utonium has cried for a fallen coworker but never once had she had to grieve and take in the burden of her heart growing dark and heavy.
Her fingers clench the soil. She didn’t want to cry. Didn’t want to sob, not at the risk of seeming weak, but to actually force herself to come to terms with it. To see it written in stone as literal as it comes.
Butch Jojo is dead.
There’s no other way to put it. No soft angle to come at. No lessening the blow because she was there and saw it with her own eyes. No one had to tell her because she relieved it every time her eyes closed.
How was she supposed to go on? He was the piece of her puzzle that fit so neatly and perfectly. She didn’t realize that the picture became indecipherable the moment he was removed. She clawed at that table trying to put back all the pieces. Trying to figure out where they all go but she's left with segments that don’t seem to fit any longer.
He was her sun and moon, the day and night and every other cliche slapped onto an overpriced Hallmark card. He was it all, and now he is gone. Gone too soon and she barely had him in the first place.
The gravestone itself is simple. It's the only one on the lot that isn't decorated by a three foot high statue or a giant cross. It's as basic as they come yet the man it was for was far from it. There was no luxury of filling the coffin with a body. So every bit of him was taken physically and metaphorically from her.
His name is in an elegant cursive and his birth name. Something most people didn’t know. Usually spies and assassins change up their name to make their identity untraceable. She had known him as many different names, but Butch was the only one who she cared about. The only one to ever make her feel like herself.
Her fingers hover above the engraving before setting on the coldness and tracing it with the tip of her index finger. It takes her breath away like an old candle finally burning out.
She wonders if a cruel joke is being played on her as she stares at the curls of the cursive. It was the same font she had chosen for their makeshift wedding invitations the moment she realized that he was the one. Of course he would have had comic sans or some heavy metal font on his tombstone if he was given the chance just to spite everything and everyone.
She's sure that this was already made far before his death. In fact, she's convinced that everyone already has a grave with their name stored somewhere in the back for fast and easy access. Hers is probably waiting and collecting dust.
“Hi.” She utters, less formal than the first time and that felt like ages ago. “For the first time, I’m speechless.” She confesses. “I’m not quite sure what to say.”
For days she sat underneath her flickering desk light writing a speech for a funeral that no one would attend.
The words never came into place even though she deemed herself a thoughtful writer. But what do you say when the person who gave you a reason to speak is gone? Was there anything worth uttering when she couldn’t bring herself to do it?
But she wrote. She wrote everything she had felt and ended with a flood of pages on her desk. Pens with tired ink cartridges littered her desk and endless chicken scratched papers were tossed away. It needed to be thoughtful and inviting but in reality, it just needed to be the words she never said.
The moment she finished writing them, she threw them into a box to never see the light of day. But when she finally had the courage to come and pay her respects, she became drawn to them. Her mind fought with her hands to take them even if she decided to keep them in her purse.
Her purse opens and she takes out a few pages. The ones that made her heart ache the most and that are decorated with stains of dried tears. She clears her throat. “The first time I met you, I thought nothing of it. It was in front of the coffee maker at work, you had just joined our firm and you walked by, glanced at me and then you were gone into the other room. That was it. That's what we were meant to be. A simple meeting of the eyes and then we don’t interact again.”
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
The coffee drips way too slow, she thinks. A state of the art facility full of lasers, guns and cars and they couldn’t be bothered to get something just slightly better. The mug finishes filling just in time for her patience to run out. She grabs it and turns to look out towards the rows of cubicles that make it seem like a simple office.
Instead of a bored coworker looking tired at a computer, she's met with green eyes and an emotionless face. For a second she saw his lips turn into a smirk. It's quick. A match striking the box with a flame igniting on impact. And then it’s dropped in water and out just as fast. He's gone by the time she blinks next and even though it was nothing, those eyes fueled a fire she wasn’t sure she had.
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
“But then I kept seeing more and more of you.”
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
“You clean up nice.” Blossom turned to see a guy. She recognized him from last week, a new transfer who she only caught a glance at. He was in a highly expensive tux and was adjusting the equally priced watch on his wrist.
“I assume you must be my new partner.” She said as she mentally analyzed him slowly. Slicked black hair, looks as if he goes to the gym quite often, hands looks steady for a firearm. Green. Forest green eyes.
He smiled. “Must be.”
“You can call me Amanda.” Her fake name suited her fine as she checked the time. “I hope that you read over the files of our mission.”
“I tend to skim and wing it.” He winked and that irked her. “Matts fine for the evening.”
Blossom, or Amanda for now, kept her eyes from rolling and walked to him and wrapped her arm around his. “You might be my husband for this mission but if you fuck up, you better be thankful this isn’t legally bounded.” She finished with a flutter of her eyelashes and a smile before pulling him along.
She didn’t get too far before he pulled her back and her bright pink eyes met deep green ones closely. “I take my job very seriously. But I wouldn’t dream of making you mad at me. But on the other hand, I admire strong women.”
She didn’t know why she didn’t smack him in the face. Usually every partner who has tried to flirt or mess with her learned the hard way that is a no no. Yet, even after moments of knowing him, there was something genuine about him that she couldn’t quite understand but became interested in.
“Glad to see we are on the same page Matt.”
“Of course Amanda.” Butch replied and held out his hand. “After you.”
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
The trees nearby moved in the breeze without a care in the world. They had nothing to care for except for their leaves changing in the fall and losing them in the winter. But leaves always came back, they always blossomed and started a new life and were the same tree no matter how many times the seasons passed.
She wondered if those trees ever felt heartbreak or if it was easier to lose something when you know it will come back to you with time. She envied those trees. Envied the way that they can continue their lives just growing and flourishing and it felt like her leaves were turning to dust as she was being cut down.
From her purse she pulled out a thermos and two plastic cups. She nestled one into the ground as she poured the wine into the cup and then one into hers.
“I never cared for this brand of wine before I met you.” She smiled softly and took a sip. “Never cared for a lot of things. Yet this was your favorite and everytime we had a mission, I could always find you relaxing with a glass. I guess it became an acquired taste over time. You became my taste.”
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
“Care for a glass?” He asked her as she sat in front of the fireplace.
Due to them working together for more than a year, the agency decided that personal rooms weren’t necessary and if anyone were to see them leave together and follow, it would fit with their stories.
Blossom looked up from the book she just pulled out. A dissatisfying glare focused on the bottle in his hand. “No thanks, that stuff is garbage.”
Butch, or well, Sebastian for the evening, scoffed. “Garbage?” He exclaimed dramatically. “This is some of the finest wine in the world.”
“I’ve had better.”
“It's from Italy!”
“I prefer local or even cheap box wine to that.” Blossom scanned her book.
Butch only huffed again but still proceeded to pour two glasses and joined her on the floor.
“I said I didn’t want any.”
“I think you just haven’t had it with the right company.” He smirked and offered her the glass.
She rolled her eyes and took the glass, her book forgotten now. Blossom brought the glass to her lips, took a sip and tried her best to hold back a grimace. “It's fine.”
He only shook his head and drank his own glass, the small smile on his lips never leaving. “Butch.”
She turned the glass in her hand then glanced at him. “What?”
“Butch. That's my name, my real name.”
Her heart started beating quicker. “Why are you telling me this? You shouldn’t be.”
It was a common understanding. You might know the face of your partner or colleagues but a name and identity was off the table. The only thing anyone needed to track down someone was a name. And the moment it's out there, you can start counting your days.
Butch shurgged and downed the rest of his wine. “Not sure. Never told anyone before. Well anyone who I didn't know beforehand. But there's something about you. I don’t think you fully trust me. I get it of course. I don’t trust people at all.”
“So why tell me?” She questioned.
His eyes met hers. Seriousness washed across his face and any hint of amusement was gone. “I have no one in my life who knows me as Butch anymore. Only myself and my thoughts. And after years in this shit business-you’re the only partner I’ve had that I trust with my life.”
Her fingers tighten around the stem of the glass. Her poor heart is beating much faster; she's sure he can hear it. She’s never had a partner like him. Never met a person who she blindly trusted like this.
“Blossom.” She blurts out. “My name is Blossom.”
And that smirk returns and his eyes soften. She's seen him kill a man before and yet he looks so incredibly soft and honest.
“That's a pretty unique name.”
“My father told me it was because of cherry blossom trees.” She smiles at the memory. She reaches and takes the brown contact from her eyes. Her main defying feature that no one but the higher ups knew about.
Her eyelashes flutter as she places them in the contacts case. She looks back at Butch and prepares for the intergation look.
It never comes.
Instead he's looking at her as if she's the most interesting thing in the world. Pastel pink eyes greet his own and he's taken back and tries to keep these emotions down.
“Its weird I know-
“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met.” He interrupts. “And I swear I’m not drunk.
That flicker resurfaced. The match struck the box but the flame was held much longer this time. Her reaction surprised the both of them as she laughed and her smile reached her eyes, something they haven’t done naturally in years.
She controlled her laugh and hummed bringing the glass to her lips and taking another sip. It wasn’t as bad as the first. “And you are very-”
“Charming? Irresistible?”
“Interesting.” She finished.
The bottle poured more wine into his glass and he tapped it to hers. “I’ll take it for now.” He winked.
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
Her glass is empty now. She pours the glass for him into the soil, hoping to give him one last taste of what he loved.
“Over the years I forgot myself, you have to.” Blossom tells him. “I forgot my passions and hobbies. The simple pleasures of life were taken from me when I joined this path.”
The books on her shelf at home had collected dust over the years. The pages stuck as the days passed but only recently did she find herself opening them, even to just a random page and basking in the tiny shred of warmth it gave her.
“I felt those pleasures rise with you. Even buying a simple candle because you said you liked the scent brought me a joy I hadn’t noticed was missing. I was missing everything in life because I didn’t have a light to guide me.”
She bites her lips hoping to stop another sob. How many tears can a person shed in a short amount of time? When do they stop and allow the body to rest?
“That first time you kissed me.” Her voice cracks. “That's when I started believing that life could be more than what we were conditioned to do.”
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
Her feet ached. Her heels were in her hands and she was tired from another successful work day. After six months of locating and sniffing out an underground drug market, they finally caught the group of men.
She glanced at her shoes and dress, irritated that the blood ruined another perfectly good outfit. She wanted to just get into her room, take a bath and pass out on her bed and to not be distrubed for at least seventy two hours.
She got to her hotel door and started to search for her key.
“Oh shit.” She grumbled. Her purse was nowhere in sight.
“Here.”
Blossom turned to see Butch holding the desginer bag.
A sigh of relief left her lips as she took it and fished out the key card. He leaned against the wall, clearly tired and wanting to rest like her. Two years they had been partners. The longest partnership she’s had and she wasn’t complaining. Usually they shared a room on missions but they had separate rooms this time.
“Tired?” She glanced at him.
“No, I'm fully awake.” He said sarcastically. “I feel like I got hit by a freight train.”
“I’m sure those guys thought they did too when you punched them.” Her door clicked open but she didn’t move.
“Oh please, you did most of the heavy lifting. I mean who takes down a giant dude with a high kick in heels.” He was practically beaming with pride from the memory. “Badass stuff Bloss.”
She was sure there was a blush on her cheeks. Shaking those thoughts from her head she smiled and opened the door. “Goodnight Butch.”
“Night.”
…
..
.
“Isn’t this the part where you walk into your room?” He raises a bow that is answering the silent question she asked.
She straightens her back. “Shouldn’t you be walking to yours?”
He moves closer to her. Brushing the hair on her shoulders off and there's a buzz throughout her as his fingers graze her shoulders.
He's closer now. Their lips only inches apart and although her body is killing her and aching, she can’t help but let her mind wander.
“I prefer the view right here.” He says in almost a whisper that makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand. “And possibly even the taste.”
His lips press against hers. They have kissed many times in front of people on missions but it's never been like this. Never a sign that everything she had been feeling, wanting could be hers for the taking.
It's not fast and heated. It's slow as if he's testing out the waters that he can glady swim in. It's a sign that they know they shouldn’t be doing this but for once, she's playing by a different set of rules.
They break apart. The kiss wasn’t very long but the sparks linger and scorch through her body. She's afraid to look at him now. Afraid that rejection and everything she had told herself not to want, can’t be hers. The ground should just swallow her whole now.
She feels a hand softly touch her cheek and she looks up at him. This look on his face, she can't describe it. She can see the gears turning in his head, wondering if this was a mistake just as she thought.
But rejection never comes. He doesn’t pull or push away.
Instead his lips turn slightly up. “I know we fight for the greater good, but I’m starting to think I have a different purpose.”
“What?” She questions.
“You.”
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
She could have sworn it's only been a few minutes but the sky’s blue had morphed into a dusty pink. A wonderful sunset that she is surprised she can still find beauty in. She knows she’ll have to leave soon. She is afraid that when she does, she might not come back.
One of the final happy moments with him was weeks before his death. Five years they had known each other and it was all washed down the drain.
Her head turns towards the sky as she basks in the sunset. “I hope that wherever you are there are still skies like these.”
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
Sunsets in Hawaii were much better in person than any photo could capture.
“Another successful mission.” Blossom giggles as she takes a sip of her mai tai. Her feet are swaying above the water and the breeze flows through her hair. She hasn’t remembered being this peaceful but she could get used to it.
“Yeah.” Butch says as he downs his drink.
Five years she's known him. Every action and mannerism he's done is burned in her memory. It's the most priceless information she has, the most important because it's all hers.
He seems calm, she admits. But something is on his mind. He's not thriving in the glory of another mission or running around crazy and jumping into the ocean like the days before. He seems to be in deep thought. Something she's not quite sure she likes.
The horizon catches her eyes. “The sky is pretty.” She adds.
“Runaway with me.”
The movement of the waves stops. The breeze halts and her eyes widen.
“What?” She turns towards him. “Runaway?”
He nods. “Runaway from this place and all its madness. We could get married, travel the world, anything you want.” He took her hand. “I don’t care where we go. I just want to be with you.”
“With me?” She's practically speechless.
Butch cracks a smile. “Only you. Imagine this.” He scoots closer to her and wraps his arm around her shoulder. “A house on private property, hell maybe even a beachfront. You have your own little library and I’ll even get you a nice espresso machine. A garden with all the flowers you could imagine and even a baby grand piano since I know how much you love to play.”
The images flood her mind. “That sounds lovely.”
“And you wanna know the best part?” He asks.
She nods her head. “Tell me.”
“I would get to wake up each morning with you in my arms.” He smirks and kisses her softly.
“That would be the best part.” She hums against his lips. Her stomach then drops. “But we can’t.”
“Three good reasons.”
She tried to think. How could she leave the agency she's been in since she was a kid? How could she throw everything away? These feelings she had were all muddled into a mess that she didn’t know how to get out of. That vision he told her sounded like a dream.
That's what this was. A dream. Something she wasn’t allowed to have. But she wanted it.
Butch sighed. “I guess it's easier for me cause I’m selfish.” He smiled softly at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Whatever choice you make, as long as I can still be by your side, is fine by me.”
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Blossom looks at the notes in her hands then back to the stone.
“I’m sorry Butch.” She cries and crumples them. Tears overwhelm her once again but she doesn’t wipe them or try to stop it. She is a dam that's been holding it all for too long. Holding her emotions for years and she was tired.
“Everyone told me to come here to get closure, but I don't want that. I want to feel the emptiness and shallowness. I want to cry myself to sleep and wish I could hold you again. It's torturous and cruel to think like that but it means that it was real. And that it was mine. This-” She beats her fingers against her chest, against her heart. “This is yours.”
“I am sorry Butch. I vowed to never let my heart act over my head. And that is something I regret deeply. You were right. You always have been. You wanted me without hesitation and I’m sorry I was guarded. But I swear when I was with you I wasn’t.”
The laughter and joy he brought her. She felt like she was breathing for the first time around him and even in the most serious situations there was still an element of peace.
“I had hoped that I would never have to say this. Never had to face this reality because it's too painful. I tried to deny it all, even though I watched it happen. Maybe if I had never let myself be charmed by you, I could avoid all these feelings but we both know that you were just so-’ She bites a laugh. “Irresistible.”
Her voice got louder as her sobs grew. “Every single moment was worth it. Your eyes and your smile. The way you knew what I was thinking even though no one else could ever know. I treated it like our job but the truth is, I wanted you to figure me out so I could finally tell myself it's okay to be happy. That's what you were Butch. My happiness.”
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This can’t be happening, she thought. Never in her entire career had she been kidnapped and captured. She was careful and guarded but they got the best of them this time.
The gag in her mouth was doing its job and her wrists were bound behind her back. The cold chill ran up her spine as she watched the men drag him in front of her. He was a few feet away and his face was covered in blood and bruises.
“Only one of you makes it out alive.” The man said.
She tried to pull against the restraints but felt the cool metal touch the back of her head.
“No moving sweetheart.” She heard behind her.
She watched as they removed Butch’s gag and he choked on the air before his hair was pulled and he was forced to look at her.
Those dark green eyes met with frightened brown but he knew that below the color was a brilliance of magenta that he adored.
He should be scared and terrified. And he was. But looking at her even in this state, he felt a sense of happiness wash over him. Everything he never thought he could have was right there in front of him.
Tears fell from her eyes as she watched the man stab him in the stomach. The knife plunged into his flesh and Butch let out a horrifc cry as she screamed into the gag.
“Dying words buddy?” The man laughed as he pulled out a gun and held it up to head.
Even through the pain shooting through his body, he looked at her with tears in his eyes.
His lips turned into a smile, even with blood coating his teeth. “Blossom-” He coughed.
No.
No.
Please No!
She wanted to scream and tell him that she takes it all back. She wanted her dress and the ring. She wanted their own house and a piano where she could play for him.
Everything. She wanted everything.
She wanted him.
“I love you.” He says.
BAM!
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
Her breath catches in her throat as she sees it. The blood and the life leaving his eyes. It replays and she tries to stop the memory.
“Could you ever forgive me?” She sobs. “Forgive me for not telling you?”
Her hand presses against the gravestone. She's not sure what she's hoping for but it's cold.
“You said it moments before your death and I couldn’t even let you die with that. Yet through that you smiled at me. You fucking smiled as death was taking you faster than I could realize because you knew. I couldn’t say it. No matter how much I wanted to tell you, I was afraid that the moment I did, this would happen. I wasn’t prepared to lose you. I wasn’t ready to face a life where I would spend every waking moment wondering if waking up next to you was truly real or a dream.”
Anger rises in her. Anger at the world and the men who killed him. Angry at the agency who turned the other eye when he died. There was nothing for her there anymore. She realized it way too late that she was robbed of everything from this life. Robbed of having him because she was afraid.
“I don't get it. How did you make me want that so bad? How you took my heart and made it beat faster than ever before. You told me to be selfish so here it is. I want you. I want you back and alive so that I can go and buy that white dress. I want everything you said.”
The anger bubbling shifts. It lingers but she takes a deep breath. It won’t help her to be angry or to bring him back. That sorrow takes its hold over her again. It's sad but calming as she tries to reason with herself that he is gone. She knows closure won’t come but she's okay with that.
“But that's not the reality anymore. I can’t change the past but I won’t change the future either. I am deeply and madly in love with you Butch. You gave me a glimpse of what a normal and fulfilling life could be and I thank you for that. Thank you for giving me slices of happiness and making me feel like I was worth loving.”
She reaches into her purse one last time and pulls out a letter and a box. “I resigned and I bought myself a ring.” She opens it and slips on the silver band with a small opal. “It's silly I know, not even a wedding ring. I hope you don’t mind. I stole one of the gems from your watch to make it.” She cries.
“They took all your stuff you know.” Her hands quiver as she stares at her ring. “They took every part of you like it was nothing, like you didn’t exist at all. The watch was all I could get.”
The sun is now setting and the breeze picks up. She's not cold anymore, and can't feel anything.
“They’ll kill me, I'm sure of it. That's what happens when you leave. And when they do, I better see you on the other side. A place where we can watch the sunset and have our little home. A place where this emptiness inside me can be whole again. I just want a place where I can love you.”
The glasses and letters go back into her purse. The flowers lay with her ribbon at the base as she stands and dusts off her dress.
She finally wipes her tears and forces a wonderful soft smile. “You were the most charming and wonderful man I have ever had the honor of working with. But most importantly, you were proof that dreams could come true.”
She touches the stone one last time. Feels the coolness but it's not as frightening. She's not afraid anymore. Blossom takes a step back and her eyes dance over his name one last time. She slips on her heels and grabs her purse.
“Goodbye my love.” She says and makes her way across the grass to the black gate.
✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼
I hope you enjoyed!
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Since no one talks about it and everyone is hellbent over "good parent Asmodeus" I wanna know your take on the abuse and manipulation asmodeus did on Magnus... Both before the show timeline and during it it is a simple request no pressure hbhby
hoo boy okay let's buckle up for this i guess. warning for emotional, psychological and physical child abuse ahead everybody, stay safe
seriously im halfway through writing this answer now and this got very very dark so like if these are triggering to you, please skip this one
okay so as all abusers i think that asmodeus was a master at using Magnus' previous trauma, ie his mum's and stepfather's death, against him. Magnus had just lost the person he loved most, almost been murdered, and killed his abuser, as well as losing everything - he couldn't support himself and i have the feeling that he was so terrified after his stepfather's murder, so convinced he was a monster for it, hell, he still is even in show canon, he might have just fled. and then we have a homeless Magnus living on the streets, guilty and terrified and utterly alone
and he's convinced that his mum's death is his fault, his stepfather told him so, said he was a monster, a demon, and that's why she had killed herself. and then he murdered his stepfather, thus, in his head, becoming the exact monster his mum feared. his mum was right. he was a monster. a murderer. a demon. he was everything he feared and she hated him and she was right to hate him, too-
and i think asmodeus deliberately waited until he was at his limit to show up. i mean he's gotta have been keeping tabs on Magnus, he was his all powerful son after all, his heir, his weapon. there's no way asmodeus didn't know exactly what was happening, and i think that he deliberately waited until Magnus was within an inch of his life, exhausted, starving, almost depleted of magic, shivering and cold and crying alone on the street, before showing up. so Magnus wouldnt question him. so Magnus would feel indebted to him. so Magnus would feel like he needs him
and when he does rescue Magnus, boy, he makes this whole show of taking him somewhere safe, giving him plenty of water and endless food, covering him in blankets and getting him nice feeling clothes, cleaning him - just the most and best of everything, to really emphasize the difference, really make it seem terrifying to ever be away from him again, when clearly, without him, he was nothing
and asmodeus would have explained it all to him, say that his stepfather was right, he was a demon, like asmodeus was. Magnus would be so scared, "he tried to kill me," and he'd be almost flippant about it, "oh, mundanes. it's what they do. they hate us." he'd thwarp what happened with the stepfather deeply in Magnus' head, make it seem like his stepfather's abusive behavior was normal, just what they always did, and that magnus' anger over it, his righteous anger, born of fear, and the need to survive, was an overreaction. the proof of his demonic heritage - of the evil inside of him. proof that he was the same as asmodeus, that he should turn his back to his humanity
and Magnus is confused, and hurt, and scared, because simultaneously his stepfather was bad and tried to kill him and that is proof that he can't trust mundanes and that asmodeus is all he has- but he also didn't hurt Magnus all the other times before, he never mistreated him, all these times he hit him or his mum and called them dirty and disgusting, no, that was nothing much, that was normal. it was magnus' anger that was out of place, proof that he was a monster, was a demon, was like asmodeus. should stay with him
we know that asmodeus wanted Magnus because with his magic he could have even stronger power blah blah blah so im guessing that asmodeus' plan was basically to train Magnus, bring him to his side, wait until he was mature and strong, and then try to defeat Lilith? so for that to have you know not happened Magnus would have to have banished him when he was still a kid, but anyway, that's another can of worms and I'll get to that (probably)
so he needs to turn Magnus away from the mundane world, make him want to come to edom, possibly convince him that he cant be happy in edom because Lilith wont help him, and then have him kill Lilith? and so he has to convince Magnus that mundanes are bad, going to hurt him, and that he doesnt belong with them, and so that's the narrative that he builds, normalizing his stepfathers' behavior, reminding him that even his mum didnt love him, because he wasn't a person, wasnt human, and they'd never love him as he was, and he didn't love them, either. no matter how much magnus' heart ached for his mum, and his friends, and his dukun tutor, asmodeus kept telling him that he didn't love them, couldn't have, because he was a demon, and they were beneath him. and if Magnus asked too many questions, got too confused, fought that idea too much, he'd lash out, scream, almost burn Magnus wirh the terrible dark fire of his magic
and Magnus was terrified and would hide, and he'd be like, oh, my little thing, I'd never hurt you, don't you see? that was just my magic, of course i wouldnt hurt you, im not like them. and then hed hug a trembling, shaking Magnus, who had no idea what was real anymore
eventually this started to intertwine with ideas of royalty too - you are too good for them, Magnus, you are a royal, you have a right to everything your heart desires, and they treated you like trash. you have to forget these stupid mundanes. they're beneath you
and he definitely made Magnus kill/hurt more people, possibly threatened him, said that he needed to get stronger, to stop caring so damn much, because Magnus has always been kind, and eager to help, and ultimately good, and asmodeus needed to destroy that. so he pushed and pushed him, told him that he was weak if he didnt do what asmodeus said, and that asmodeus would do it himself. that he'd leave him again, and how would that be, huh, being homeless again, would his precious mundanes have mercy? would they care? no, they'd leave him to die and spit on his face, and yet here he was, pitying them. like a whiny, weak baby, not the royal asmodeus expected him to be
and if Magnus still didn't quite manage to satisfy asmodeus, because he took too long, cried too much, pleaded too much- then he'd get punished. i think that punishment came basically in the form of magic depletion/exhausting him. Magnus is freakishly good at holding back from magic depletion, has sustained his magic and pushed way past his limits many times throughout the show, sometimes for full uninterrupted minutes. i think thats why. because asmodeus "trained" him to be able to, with his punishments
he possibly used that as an excuse - since you insist on being so weak, we have to make you stronger. so he'd make Magnus use his magic for hours at a time, no breaks, until he was shaking and trembling and crying with the effort, and then he'd leave him depleted and exhausted and have him recover on his own. that's what you are without magic, he'd tell him. nothing. do you understand now? why you can never be like them? do you want to end up like this for the rest of your life? I worry about you, Magnus, i really, really do. kill this stupid sentimentalist mundane side, before it kills you.
Magnus said, without magic, i feel like i dont matter. And don't get me wrong, i think the show made it pretty clear that magic is a part of warlocks, that without it they are incomplete, unhappy. but the fact that he specifically said i feel like i dont matter makes me feel like this is something that asmodeus drilled into his head. without magic he was nothing. and he really wasnt, because that's all asmodeus wanted him for
magicless Magnus? asmodeus despised him. for the whole time he was recovering from the magic depletion, asmodeus could barely spare him a glance. he was cruel about it, too. what? aren't you happy that you're like these mundanes you love so much? I'm just treating you as such. and then, when his magic started to come back, when he managed to do a trick- asmodeus would change completely. smile wide. hug him. that's my boy! and it would seem like asmodeus loved him, and everything would seem okay. when he had magic, he mattered, he was important, and asmodeus loved and took care of him. when he didn't, asmodeus wouldnt even touch him, wouldnt want to eat with him, would barely talk to him
so the prospect of losing his magic was terrifying, and sometimes Magnus would plead with him, please, dad, no training, i promise to be good, i dont want to be without my magic. and asmodeus would say why are you so worried? it's just training. and Magnus would say, because i always end up without magic. and asmodeus would snap, well, you aren't supposed to, do you think I'd push you over your limit on purpose? you were supposed to be able to handle it, but you aren't, you're weak. why do you think i get so disappointed? i want you to be strong, Magnus, like you're meant to be
that was always what he said, too, in canon. when he gave Magnus his pretzel, he said, for your strength. he didn't care if Magnus was well, or happy, or if he fucking liked pretzels. only that he was strong. and that is definitely a trope here
anyway! at this point asmodeus is already telling him about going to edom, about how he'll be safer there, away from people, happier. and Magnus is terrified, because he doesn't want to be away. he loves people, and most of them arent bad. he loves food. he loves music, and art, and architecture. he loves seeing the world. he loves learning languages and seeing new animals and plants and cultures. he doesn't want to be away from the world. he doesn't want to be with asmodeus
and asmodeus, of course, has carefully kept from him that other warlocks exist, that theres a warlock community out there, because if he knew that, then he'd have an alternative to being with asmodeus, even with his whole mundanes will always hate you blah blah blah speech. but there's only so long he could keep this from Magnus, right? he can feel other people's magic through the ley lines, they can feel his. it was only a matter of time.
i think it was ragnor, honestly, the first one he met. ragnor who told him, kid, there's a life out there, we're alive and we're many and we're happy, and we're there for each other. there's an alternative. and Magnus could cry with relief, because he didn't want to be with his dad anymore, but he was so terrified of being alone and on his own again
so he throws himself into studying, telling asmodeus that he wants to know about demonic magic to go to edom. and he learns about his weaknesses, and what a banishment is, and how to do it. and so when he's about to hit his maturity, he tells asmodeus he wants to visit. and because portals dont exist yet, he has to make this whole elaborate thing- and he tricks asmodeus, sets a trap, i dont know, and instead of simply taking them there, he banishes asmodeus, and stays
and so he goes and finds that weird british old man, and asks him if he can go to the warlocks' place. and ragnor chuckles and tells him that the world is the warlocks' place, that they're everywhere, that he'll teach him. and so he takes Magnus to meet other warlocks, and join the community, and start working. he still loves mundanes, and plus, after all the bad he feels he's done for them, he wants to help. so he lives among them and makes friends with them and dates them and works among them and gets wealthy, and grows, and he's somewhat happy, even if most of the time he has to hide what he is, even if he still feels lonely and bad and like a monster, a killer, a demon. but he got rid of him, and he can, maybe, become something else, if he tries really hard to find his humanity again, and make up for his mistakes, and the pain he's caused
i think asmodeus is responsible for most of the guilt Magnus feels, for a great part of his immortality blues - after all, thats what most clearly separates him from mundanes, makes him different, unable to be a part of their world - and for his feelings that hes a monster. he tells alec he hopes alec doesn't think less of him because of his father, because a part of him still believes that being asmodeus' son makes Magnus like him. he says he's ugly and dark, because asmodeus convinced that's all he could ever be. he has a huge resistance and pain/exhaustion tolerance because of course he does. and he tries to sacrifice himself all the time because hes convinced that he doesnt matter and doesn't belong, that no one would miss him because they cant love him, because hes different. and that was all definitely planted on him by asmodeus, and later watered by camille ofc
#ask#pastaingallday#long post#like really long#abuse tw#child abuse tw#emotional abuse#psychological abuse#physical abuse#sh#shadowhunters#magnus bane#angst#overflowing trashcan#meta#sh meta
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Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today
i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK???
so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley
obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”
the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry
so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked
“that’s not a name”
“is too”
diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO
luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink
diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm
ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient
OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her
you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up
WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS
HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS
ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does
diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised
you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd
her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents
klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther
yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober
but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent
shoutout to klaus
five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN
galaxy brain
so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work
i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit
ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH
additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay
vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so
so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say
harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy
hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk
SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT
AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”
eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time
eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf
then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack
diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”
‘um’
“you live somewhere right???”
‘UM’
they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely
so they register and foster five
diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright
then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day
so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”
THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK
claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother
this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay
hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS
five beats everybody at scrabble
diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating
vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down
luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive
allison is the QUEEN of blurt!
ben is so good at charades it’s unfair
klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)
five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what
“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”
whaaaaaaat
so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond
five: mind blown
THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM
BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME
FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS
THEY ALL LOVE SEALS
five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying
five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)
i want to say. okay so.
reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies
so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!
so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom
she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok
basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time
wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth
sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES
the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong
hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch
five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!
SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU
THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU
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Rules Of One’s Soul Ch 11 A Little Offer
(Mak belongs to @wasted-church )
Such a waste of time. Alnost four hours of walking and talking to that hammerheaded bafoon down the drain. If he would've known it would have ended up in failure then he wouldnt have gone in the first place!...But then again, he DID need an excuse to walk off all those candy calories he forced down into himself, he wouldnt become fat if he couldn't help it. The talk with Malius wasn't exactly splendid either. He insisted on being paid first so he wasn't 'scammed' out of a job and 'actually got paid for his hard work' and a whole other slew of nonsense. Of course he had TRIED to explain that he couldn't pay anything right now because he didn't HAVE anything to pay with right now, but of course the foolish worm paid no attention to his noble status or the fact he could just easily pay him later. Making the whole trip absolutely worthless.
The only good thing about this was that it gave him time to go get more supplies and food. Dark candy and worms. How appetizing. But one thing was for sure, Rouxls Kaard was not one to ask for help when he could easily handle by himself, he didn't need anyones help. So of course it wasn't out of question to see the duke out of formal attire, on hands and knees, digging in the pitch black ground with a small shovel and a couple of glass jars. He didn't really care though. He really didn't have anything else to do right now unless he wanted to go climbing dark candy trees and get more of those too sweet things, which he had to do anyways to restock his shoppe and get more for himself to eat after eating all the ones Seam brought to him earlier. His stomach grumbled just thinking about it, and he still had a week of just living like a hermit.
"Where art thou stupid insects!," he mumbled to himself as he shoveled clump of dirt after dirt to the side. Why couldn't the stupid worms just come out already!? It rained just two days ago, shouldn't they be near the surface by now?! "Dont telleth me thine food supply tis goneth?!" He jabbed the shovel in deeper. "I REFUSETH! NAY WORMS SHANT DEFEAT ROUXLS KAARD?!"
In any other case or if he desperately wasn't afraid of getting a good(ish) food supply before he was forced to just eat candy for a week straight, he would've been chuckling at the thought of him ever doing this, but here he was. Digging in the dirt like a starved rabbick looking for carrots. Hopefully he didn't have any wondering eyes, but at this point he wouldn't have probably cared. His natural survival instinct kicking in and taking over-
"GOD D*MMIT!!" Blue hands shoved themselves into the black earth and started tossing around dirt. The yell was loud enough to catch anyones attention in a couple yard radiace, but luckily noone heard it-......Well almost noone.
To be honest, the scene was more concerning than funny. He certainly wasn't expecting to walk in on the scene of a frantic duke digging like a rabbick tossing dirt around and cussing like a royal guard on a hangover. The duke was more upset then he thought-
"He's gone mad.....Can I have his shiny stuff if his hair falls out?"
He ignored the child and mumbled a "Stay here" before catiously stepping towards the manic worm flailing around like a dying fish. Good lightners. It wasn't a long drive to have the poor guy acting like a desperate animal-....Similar to how Jevil first reacted too being.locked up...He instantly shook those thoughts from his mind. Now wasn't really the appropriate time for a trip down memory lane, especially about something that happened so long ago. He was just one or two yards from the duke who didn't seem to have noticed him at all at the moment. Some dirt bounced near his feet to which he rose a brow at. After a moment he looked back to the worm and cleared his throat-
It was like a cobra swung it's head with how fast the duke's reflexes were. Face dark blue in frustrated annoyance.
"WHAT?!"
Both froze in that moment. Both clearly not expecting the other to react they way the other did. The sudden outburst made the patched cat flinch hard and sorta just stare down at worm, button eye spinning. Rouxls however seemed to register the moment faster, old habit he developed from serving the spade king. One had to develop a fast sense of your surroundings if you didnt want to risk the king's wrath...And blinked.
"Oh.....Tis thou." His body slowly relaxed from the tense pose on his knees and eyeing the cat. ".....What doth thou want?"
Seam blinked and cleared his throat. His fur was bristled and fluffed up from the sudden outburst. "Oh...Well you seemed like you were a little stressed there-" His gaze shifted momentarily to the holes and clumps of dirt, and Rouxls's obviously dirty hands." -...and I thought you could use a cup of tea?"
"..N-No. Thank you. As y-you can clearly seeth-" He turned back around to the holes. "-I amst c-clearly busy w-with restocking mine shelves!"
"And how exactly is digging restocking? Are you selling dirt?"
"WORM! I amst gathering food to prepare mineself for living like a common criminal!" He reached back for the shovel.
" You eat dirt?"
"NAY! Likest I wouldst do anything like that?! Mine standards wouldst never sinkest so loweth!"
" Then what are you trying too-..." He trailed off when the duke groaned and pointed to a few jars next to himself. Inside one of them was a couple small pink things, they wriggled around the glass container. It didn't take too long for the old cat to figure out what exactly what he was looking at. ".....You've been eating worms?"
"Nay. I willeth eat them....sparingly. I needst enough for mineself to last for a few days.,
The thought of those wriggling things coming anywhere near his mouth made Seam gag before asking, "Are you really going to eat nothing but insects?"
"No. That tis ludacris!" The digging slowed down. "There's plenty of that disgustedly sweeteth ..c-candy growing on thine trees. I needs to restock anyways."
"What happened to the whole bag I brought?...Hehe. Don't tell me someone already bought it all."
"What doth thou thinkest I have been consuming for nutrition?"
The old plush paused for a monent, eye spinning. "Are you telling me that you plan on eating nothing but candy and....worms from now on?"
"Blame that floating bafoon for getting mineself sent away from thine castle!"
Seam held up his paws in defense. "Hey now. He was only trying to help."
Rouxls muttered something under his breath but didn't look up at Seam and just continued digging. Seam on the other hand reached up to scratch at the fluffy main of fur around his neck. This wasn't exactly what he was expecting when he first came to speak to the stressed out noble, but he guess he would've acted like this too if he was in the duke's place....Or not. Who knows?
"What art thou doing here anyways?"
The sudden question made him flinch but the worm still didnt look up from his digging."Uh...Well quite simply I came to offer my assistance on the matter. Haha." This time the worm fully turned to the taller cat in question. Making him chuckle at the confused dirt smudged face. "But maybe I came at a bad time. Perhaps I should wait until you're finished?"
"..N-Nay! Rouxls kaard-" he held a hand to his chest "-hast no needst for help! I amst perfectly capable of surviving on mine own! I nay need help from an old commoner!"
"Even if I'm offering to give you a few dark dollars and decent food?"
This caught the worms attention as he instantly snapped out of the annoyed tone and eyed the cat in front of him. Seam gave a patient smile back to the worm on the ground who still hadn't made a move and instead opted to eye the plush with a raised brow. Like how a parent would a child when they knew they were lying. Rouxls pursed his mouth to a thin line and debated the cat's words internally for a moment. Finally settling on-
"Art thou serious? Food and money?"
He shrugged. "Well better food than worms and candy. Haha. But the not without something in return of course."
Rouxls scoffed. " I shouldst' ve knowneth."
Seam gestured a paw to the Hip Shoppe. "Why don't we go inside and discuss it then? You look like you could use a break."
Rouxls contined to look up at the other darkner for a few seconds, frozen in thought, before he slowly kneeled over. For a moment Seam thought he was going to start digging again but instead slowly rose to his feet. Seam could now clearly see the rolled up pants legs and dirt covered blue skin of the worms legs, instantly he got a flash back to how he looked scrubbing the floor. He honestly looked the same way except all the dirt, and something about seeing the normally the orderly and neat freak Rouxls willingly getting dirty and acting like a 'commoner" made him chuckle again. A clicking of glass sounded as the duke gathered the jars in his arms and turning to start towards the shop,Guess he agreed to talking, with Seam silently following. It was only a matter of time before a smaller pair of footsteps came patting along behind them and the small bat hopped up to his side in a moment.
"Wipe thou's feet before comming in," he muttered. It took a few seconds of him shuffling the jars into one arm while reaching to open the door. Once inside, the two plushes went towards the count- "DON'T touch anything."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
The worm gave him but mostly the small bat a look like he didn't beleive them before rolling his eyes and disappearing into the back room. Seam chuckled as he went and turned his attention to the child who was staring into the clear glass display kit. Their face practically pressed against the clean glass as their eyes widened at the contents inside.
"Hehe. Now what might you be looking at?"
"There's shiny things in there! I want the big one!"
Curious he leaned over them to peer inside the case connected to the counter. And quickly saw what they were looking at. "Oh. Gems." A full display of gem stones adorned the inside of the case. Funny he didn't see them here the last time he visited. Rudinns would go gaga for these things. Something about impressing other female Rudinns depending on how much treasure they had. Good for selling and looking pretty but otherwise useless to the common Darkn- "Hey! You're not aloud up there."
He easily reached a paw other and grabbed the bat from off the top of the counter. "But I want the shiny! The big one!" They continued to paw at the counter as Seam set them down.
"We have to pay for those things-"
"Payest for what?"
The duke had returned. Cleaned up and wearing another suit again. How many of those did he have? He eyed the two before fixing his sights onto where Mak was staring.
"Those art for sale only. If thou wants one then thou willst have to pay for it likest everyone else."
Mak gave off a growl and reached back out for the counter- seam pulled them back again and sighed. "Can we please talk about why Im here?"
"Yes. Please do." the duke had taken his place behind the register and leaned back. "What brings the commoner to mine Shoppe? Art thou one of mine admires wo-" He stopped himself from saying that one common line which made Seam chuckle again and his face went a dark blue.
"I guess that's one way of putting it, but I think Ill save that for a later time. I actually came here to offer to pay you, in return for your services of course."
Rouxls scoffed. "And what part of mine services art thou refering to? ...This won't allow me to-" He shivered. "Be around that flying lunatic?"
"Jevil? Oh no. Just some cleaning."
"Cleaning?"
Seam nodded before explaining. "Why not? You need money don't you? And it seems like a fair trade to have my sheap spruced up."
The worm just stared dumbfounded at the cat......before a snicker came out of his mouth. Before another. And another. And another. Until the worm was lightly laughing at the utterly ridiculous request offered. HIM?! Clean up after an old grown darker that was more than capable of taking care of himself?! Absolutely ludacris!
"T-Thou actually expects mineself t-to cater to thine poor home like a common maid?! Hahaha. Thou's brain tis full of silly cotten if tbou thinkest I wouldst do anything like THAT!"
The cat to his credit didnt drop the patient smile and instead retorted with. "Well you are living like us common folk aren't you?" The worm stopped his chuckling tangent to stare at him. "And digging in the dirt and plucking what candy he can get from the trees for survival. Now aren't you?"
The duke sputtered angrily before slamming a hand down on the counter while pointing the other straight at him. "Now seest here you walking...c-child"s plaything! Rouxls Kaard tis not one to bend to thou's whim just because of mine bad luck! What I do tis nay any business of yours! I shant hereth any more nonsense of soulmates o-or ridiculous offers! And as soon as that Jevil gets thinself back Ill telleth thee what exactly I thinkest of this whole situation! If anything had happened to mine boy whilst I amst away I shall seest to it he gets turned into a jack in thine box!"
Seam hadn't even batted an eye at the rant, as if he had been expecting the entire thing from the start. "Well if I remember right, you're living just like the rest of us. Doesn't matter if you're rich or not Duke. You're still just as helpless as the rest of us-"
SLAM!
"GET OUT!" The worm angrily point a hand behind Seam towards the door in the front. But not before slamming his hands onto the counter. His soul throbbed with anger at the moment and Seam could clearly sense it by the way his eye tilted down towards his chest. Where one's presumed soul would be. "GETTEST THINESELF OUT AND DON'T EVER STEP FOOT NEAR MINESELF AGAIN!!"
Ever smiling, Seam didn't hesitate to obey the angry worn as he headed back towards the door. The little bat stumbling to follow along. The jingling of the bell came as the door opened and the cat stepped out. But not before saying-
"Ill see you tomorrow friend. Hopefully we can arrange a better meet up."
#seavil#seam x jevil#jevil x seam#jevil x rouxls#Seaxls#jeam#nosuit#rouxlvil#rouxvil#seam x rouxls#rouxls x seam#deltarune
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This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback
1: Name Madison
2: Age 21
3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents
4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies
5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me
6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things
7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea
8: sexual orientation lesbian
9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing
10: how tall am i 5’2
11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things
12: what time were i born 11:14am
13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink
14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot
15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”
16: favorite place Chicago or New York City
17: favorite food SALMON
18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to
19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify
20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves
21: shoe size 8 or 8.5
22: eye color blue
23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends
24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.
25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times
27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)
28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier
29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble
30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands
31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay
32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea
33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag
34: my relationship with my parents um yikes
35: favorite holiday Halloween
36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.
37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk
38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!
39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot
40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it
41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea
42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS
43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half
44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!
45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it
46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES
47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level
48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour
49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily
50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to
51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person
52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so
53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh
54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life
55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(
56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson
57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely
58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol
59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms
60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now
61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend
62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao
63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes
64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself
65: do i believe in luck yes
66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!
67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery
68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes
69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback
70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal
71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY
72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented
73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad
74: favorite animal cat
75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!
76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )
77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron
78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know
79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny
80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too
81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs
82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people
83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of
84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda
85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?
86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it
87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF
88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye
89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye
90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though
91: kissed a boy yes
92: kissed a girl yes
93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot
94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs
95: left the house without my wallet probably
96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche
97: had sex in public not yet
98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school
99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high
100: did drugs nope
101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha
102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too
103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!
104: been overweight no
105: been underweight yes
106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???
107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing
108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely
109: been outside my home country yeah
110: gotten my heart broken yeah
111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food
112: broken a bone nope!
113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.
114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!
115: been in airplane too many times
116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not
117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember
118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay
119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!
120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural
121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no
122: had oral sex yeah
123: dyed my hair many times
124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.
125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.
126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.
127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.
128: stalked someone on a social network yeah
129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to
130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing
131: helped w charity i have!
132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected
133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually
134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday
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misha im not completely sold on blue paladin keith bc like. im so fucking attached to him and reds dynamic. so give me blue + keith headcanons or i will spam your in box with the lyrics to The Song word by word on all three of my blogs until youve rotten into the ground.
lacey im not fucking good with hcs but i would absolutely die for blue + keith so get ready to eat ur shit bc here we go
ok real shit, at first? like right when keith steps foot in blue to pilot her, they dont really get along. like, blue opened up to him bc she knew he needed her but she didnt think he’d be like that
they really start to begin to bond over the loss of their previous paladin/lions
blue: i miss lance and allura ……
keith: i miss red ….
together: oh same worm hat?
blue is the most accepting of the lions but she’s NOT a pushover. she won’t let just anyone walk in and pilot her even if that someone is the impulsive, hard headed, former red paladin keith voltron himself
keith is honestly a lot like allura when she first piloted blue. forceful and impatient.
keith, slamming his hands on the stick shifts: alright, wake the FUCK UP
the first time keith pilots blue for real, he absolutely has no idea what the hell he’s doing since apparently all the lions have different buttons and switches. red was smaller and more compact with less buttons and knobs but blue is just …….. fuckin huge
keith, looking at all the flashing buttons on his dash, sweating profusely while he’s in the line of fire of a galra ship: what the fuck. what the fuck
after keith ends up getting the hang of everything and learning to take things slow, he and blue become best buddies .. (but not as much as blue and lance lmfao could u imagine)
speaking of lance, lance probably left a shit ton of his stuff in blue after he left bc who has the time to clean all that stuff out ..
blue probably knows this and prods keith into touching some of the weird shit in her drawers
keith, holding an old bowl of food goo in his hands:
blue: i dare u to eat it
keith:
keith:
keith: hell yeah dude who do you think i am-
now getting into some angsty bits lol we all know keith isnt one to talk about his feelings. i bet blue, being one of the most sensitive and friendliest lions, she could easily pick up on emotions unlike the other driven and focused-on-task lions
this is why blue decided to let keith pilot her. she had already felt his presence out in the desert for the first time and her first waking thought was “oh im gonna mother the fuck out of this kid”
blue and keith formed a connection at the lowest point in keith’s life. at a time where shiro’s disappearance, and the garrison’s expulsion of keith, reminded the young boy painfully of his own mother’s abandonment when he was but a child. blue’s constant companionship, even if she was only on the periphery of keith’s life, both highlights and strengthens the depth of their connection.
keith, at some point in late during his time with blue, finally realizes why she let him pilot her. she helps him realize that he could finally have something without it being ripped away from him
during his time with blue, he realizes, for the first time, that his family has always been fighting along right beside him and ngl he actually cries a little bit
so yea blue starts to feel like the motherly figure he never had and thats sometimes a good thing and sometimes a bad thing
blue: ok we need to focus
keith, mockingly: we need to focus
and blue is always so proud just like a mother when he figures out a cool new trick that he couldnt have done in red
blue: keith you’re the only motherfucker who can handle me
keith: tight
so ykno in conclusion, after keith has been piloting blue for a while, his primal impulsive urges start to go away once he learns that he has people at his back and that he isnt so alone anymore.
blue ends up breaking the walls he built to protect himself from getting hurt and he’s able to be happy again without fear that something is going to crush his feelings and take away everthing he’s earned
so in conclusion, the blue lion is the absolute best choice for keith and the team. whips and nae naes
#askmish#ke1th#lacey tag#bpk tag#ALSO THANKS KATIE FOR HELPING ME OUT A LITTLE WITH THIS#slaps ur ass#also yall better appreciate this shit ive never written a list of hcs in my LIFE
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How Little John Lived at the Sheriff's
(I tried not to change the songs too much but some of the lines were so confusing that I had to sacrifice a rhyme or two to make it clear.)
So Little John joined the Sheriff’s service and found life to be easy enough. The Sheriff made him his right hand man and he was his favorite employee. He always sat near the sheriff at dinner and ran beside his horse when he went hunting. With all the hunting and eating rich foods and drinking good wine, and sleeping until late mornings, he became fat as a stall-fed ox. So things were easy for him until one day the Sheriff went hunting and made things less smooth for him.
On this morning, the Sheriff and many of his men went out to meet some Lords and to go hunting. He looked around for his best man, Reynold Greenleaf but was angry when he couldn’t find him. He wanted to show Little Johns skill to his noble friends. But Little John was still in bed, snoring loudly until noon. He finally woke and opened his eyes but didn’t bother getting out of the bed yet. The sun shined bright in the window and the air was sweet with the smell of wall flowers since it was spring. Little John lay still, thinking about how nice everything was today. Just then he heard, faint and far away, a distant bugle note sounding thin and clear. The sound was small, but, like a little pebble dropped into a glassy fountain, it broke all the smooth surface of his thoughts, until his whole soul was filled with disturbance. His spirit seemed to awaken from its sluggishness, and his memory brought back to him all the merry greenwood life—how the birds were singing blithely there this bright morning, and how his loved companions and friends were feasting and making merry, or perhaps talking of him with sober speech; because when he first started working for the Sheriff, he was joking. But he got too comfortable and had pushed off going back to Sherwood for six whole months. But now he thought of his good master and of Will Stutely, whom he loved better than anyone in all the world, and of young David of Doncaster, whom he had trained so well in all manly sports, and he began to get homesick and lonely. He began to cry and he said aloud “I’m getting fat and all my manliness is gone and I’m a lazy stupid slug. I should get up and go back to my friends again and never leave them until I die.” and so he leaped from the bed, hating how slow he had become.
When he came downstairs he saw the Butler standing near the pantry door—a great, fat man, with a huge bundle of keys hanging off his belt. Then Little John said, "Whats up man? I’m a hungry dude cause I haven’t had breakfast yet. So you should make me something to eat.”
Then the butler looked grimly at him and rattled the keys in his belt, since he hated Little John because he had found favor with the Sheriff. "So, Master Reynold Greenleaf, you’re hungry, are ya?" he said. "But, fair youth, if you live long enough, you’ll find that if you get a lot of sleep, youll get an empty stomach. Whats that old saying, Master Greenleaf? Is it not 'The early bird catches the worm?"
“Excuse me, you giant fat gutted man!” cried Little John. “I didn’t ask you for an idiots cliche. I asked for bread and meat. Who do you think you are, tryna deny me food? By Saint Dustan, you’d better tell me where my breakfast is if you wanna save yourself from broken bones.”
"Your breakfast, Master Fireblaze, is in the pantry," answered the butler.
“Then go get it!” Yelled an angry Little John.
“Go get it yourself.” said the butler. “I’m not your slave.”
“I said, go get it and bring it to me!”
“I said, go get it yourself!”
“Fine. I will!” said Little John, raging. And he stomped off to the pantry and tried to open the door but it was locked. The Butler laughed and rattled his keys. Little John’s wrath boiled over and, with a clenched fist, he punched the pantry door and busted out three panels, making a hole large enough to step through.
He Butler went mad with rage at this. When Little John was crouched looking at the pantry, the butler grabbed him around the neck and pinched his face and knocked him over the head with his keys until Little John’s ears rang. Little John turned on the Butler and hit him so hard that the fat man fell to the floor and lay there like he was half dead. “There,” Said Little John, "think about this the next time you try to keep breakfast from a hungry man.”
He crept into the pantry and looked around to see if he could find something to appease his hunger. He saw a great venison pasty and two roasted chickens, and a platter of deviled eggs. But more importantly, there was a bottle of wine and one of beer. Which was a sweet score for a hungry dude. He took them down from the shelves and set them on the table, preparing to get drunk.
Now the Cook, in the kitchen across the courtyard, heard the loud talking between Little John and the butler, and also the blow that Little John struck the other, so he came running across the court and up the stairway to where the butler's pantry was,still carrying the spit with the roast still on it.
Meanwhile the butler had gathered his wits about him and risen to his feet, so that when the Cook came to the butler's pantry he saw him glowering through the broken door at Little John, who was getting ready for a good meal, as jealously as a dog glares at another that has a bone. When the butler saw the Cook, he came to him, and, putting one arm over his shoulder, "Look, friend!" he said—the Cook was a tall, stout man—"You see what that vile brat Reynold Greenleaf did? He broke in our master's goods, and knocked me out. I thought I was dead. Good Cook, I love you, and I’ll give you a good bottle of our master's best wine every day, because youre an old and faithful servant. Also, good Cook, I have ten bucks that I mean to give you as a gift. But dont you just hate to see a vile loser like this Reynold Greenleaf taking it stuff so confidently?"
“Youre dang right I do!” Said the cook boldly. He liked the Butler after his talk of wine and money. “You go to your room and I’ll bring this kid out by his ears!” and so he put down the spit he still held and drew the sword that hung by his side. The Butler left as quickly as he could because he was afraid of swords.
The Cook walked to the broken door and saw Little John tucking a napkin under his chin and getting ready to eat and drink. ”What are you doing Reynold Greenleaf?” Asked the cook. “You’re nothing but a thief. Come out here or I’ll carve you like a roast.”
“Nah, man, you better be nicer to me. I’m normally as calm as a baby lamb but if you get between me and food: I’m a raging lion.”
"Lion or no lion," said the bold Cook, "come out now unless youre a coward AND a theif.”
“Ha!” cried Little John. “I’ve never been called a coward. So get ready dude, cause here comes the roaring Lion.”
Then he, too, drew his sword and came out of the pantry; then, putting themselves into position, they came slowly together, with grim and angry looks; but suddenly Little John lowered his sword. "Wait, good Cook!" he said. "Now, I think it would be dumb to fight with good food so near, and its a feast as good as two big strong men like us deserve. So I think we should enjoy a feast before we fight. What do you think?”
The Cook looked up and down, scratching his head in doubt. He loved a good feast. Finally he drew a long breath and said to Little John. “Well I like your plan, pretty boy, lets have a feast like it was our last because one of us will die tonight.”
So each thrust his sword back into the scabbard and entered the pantry. Then, after they had seated themselves, Little John drew his dagger and thrust it into the pie. "A hungry man must be fed," he said, "so I’ll help myself.." But the Cook did not lag far behind, for straightway his hands also were deeply thrust within the goodly pasty. After this, neither of them spoke further, but used their teeth to better purpose. Though neither spoke, they looked at one another, each thinking to himself that he had never seen better fellow than the one across the table.
Finally, after a long time had passed, the cook sighed deeply and wiped his hands on his napkin. He couldn’t eat another bite. Little John had also eaten enough and pushed his plate away as if he were saying “I dont even want you near me” then he took his wine out and said "Now, good fellow, I swear by all that is bright, you’re the best meal partner I ever had. Cheers!" He clapped the flask to his lips and tipped his head back while the good wine flooded his throat. Then he passed the bottle to the Cook, who also said, "Cheers mate!" because he was just as good at drinking as Little John.
Little John said “you’ve got a round and sweet voice, dude. I bet you’re a good singer.”
“I have been known to sing a ballad now and then,” said the cook. “But I never sing alone.”
“Of course not!” said Little John. “It would be rude not to sing with you! You start us off, and I’ll sing one after you to match.”
“Yeah alright, Pretty boy.” said the cook. “Have you ever heard the song of The Deserted Shepherdess?”
“I dont!” answered Little John. “Sing it and let me hear!”
"Truly, I know not," answered Little John, "but sing thou and let me hear."
Then the Cook took another long drink from the bottle, and, clearing his throat, sang sweetly:
THE SONG OF THE DESERTED SHEPHERDESS
"In springtime, when leaves turn green,
And pretty birds begin to mate,
When lark birds sing, and thrush, I ween,
And stockdove coos soon and late,
Fair Phillis sat beside a stone,
And I heard her moan:
'O willow, willow, willow, willow!
I'll take for me from your branches fair
And twine a wreath to deck my hair.
"'The bird has taken himself a she,
The robin, too, and of course the dove;
My Robin has deserted me,
And left me for another love.
So here, by brookside, all alone,
I sit me down and make my moan.
O willow, willow, willow, willow!
I'll take for me from branches fair
And twine a wreath to deck my hair.'
But lke a fish from the sea
Walking in around the tide;
Young Corydon came over the lass,
And sat himself beside Phillis
So, quickly, she changed her tone,
And began to stop her moan,
'O willow, willow, willow, willow!
You can keep your garlands fair,
I dont want them to deck my hair.'"
"Now, My Word!," cried Little John, "that is a right good song, and has truth in it, also."
“I’m glad you like it, sweet boy!” said the cook. “Now you sing one! Because a man shouldn’t be happy alone. So shut up and sing.”
“I’ll sing you a song about a Knight of Arthur’s court and how he cured his heartache with a new love, like Phillis did! I bet she could cure one heartbreak by giving herself a new one. So listen while I sing:”
THE GOOD KNIGHT AND HIS LOVE
"When Arthur, King, did rule this land,
A goodly king was he,
And had he of stout knights a band
Of merry company.
"Among them all, both great and small,
A good strong knight was there,
A happy child, who was quite tall,
That loved a lady fair.
"But she would have nothing to do with him,
She turned her face away;
So he left the country with nothing,
And left that lady too.
"There all alone he made his moan,
And he did sob and sigh,
And weep till tears would move a stone,
And he wanted to die.
"But still his heart did feel the smart,
And also the dire distress,
And his pain grew rather sharp
As grew his body less.
"Then he went back where was good wine
And merry friends,
And soon did cease to cry and whine'
When happy and drunk was he.
"From which I hold and do say
To say, and even believe,
That if you drink your day away
The heart will cease to grieve."
"Now, by my faith," cried the Cook, as he rattled the bottle against the table, "I like that song hugely, and the moral of it, which hides like a nut in a ferrero rochet"
“My my my, youre a smart man,” Said Little John, “And I love you like a brother.”
“I love you too man. But its getting late in the day and I have to cook before the boss gets back; so lets go ahead and have this fight we planned.”
“Right.” Said Little John. “Lets get it over with quickly. I haven’t been so slow to fight than I was to eating and drinking. Lets go out into the hallway where there’s room to swing a sword and I’ll try to give you a fair fight.”
Then they both stepped into the broad passage that led to the butler's pantry. Each man drew his sword again and without more ado went at each other like they were going to tear each other limb from limb. Then their swords clashed noisily, and sparks flew from each blow in showers. They fought up and down the hall for an hour and more, neither striking the other a blow, though they did try to; but because both of them were good swordsman; neither of them won. Eventually they rested, panting; then, after getting their wind,they went at it again more fiercely than ever. At last Little John cried aloud, "Hold up!" and each rested against his sword, panting.
“I swear!” said little John. “You’re the best swordsman I ever did see! Honestly! I thought I’d have killed you by now.”
“I thought I’d do the same to you!” Said the cook. “But I have missed the mark somehow.”
“I’ve been thinking,” Said Little John, “What are we even fighting for? I cant remember.”
“I dont remember either.” Said the Cook. “I dont actually like the crabby Butler. But I thought since we promised to fight, then we had to.”
Little John said “It seems to me that instead of trying to cut each others heads off, it would make more sense to be friends. Whaddaya say mate? Wanna go with me to the Sherwood Forest and join with Robin Hood’s band? You’ll live a good life in the woods and 140 friends too! One of which is me of course. And you’d get three green outfits each year and 40 bucks a salary.”
"Now, youre a man after mine own heart!" cried the Cook right heartily, "and, as you describe it? It seems like the perfect job for me! I’ll gladly go with you! Shake my hand and I will be your companion from now on! Whats your name dude?”
“People call me Little John.”
"What!? Are you REALLY Little John, Robin Hood'sright-hand man? I’ve heard lots about you, but I never thought I’d meet you. You’re really the famous Little John!" And the Cook seemed lost in amazement, and looked at his companion with wide eyes.
"I am Little John, indeed, and today I will bring Robin Hood a right stout fellow to join his merry band. But before we go, good friend, it seems to me to be a shame, since we have had so much of the Sheriff's food anyway, we shouldn’t also carry off some of his silverware to Robin Hood, as a present from his worship."
“Good idea!” said the cook. And they began looking around and taking as much silver spoons and plates as they could find, shoving it into a bag. When the bag was filled, they started out for Sherwood Forest.
Walking into the woods, they came to the big greenwood tree where they found Robin Hood and 60 of his men laying in the grass. When Robin and his men recognized who had shown up, they leaped to their feet. “Welcome home!” cried Robin. “Welcome back Little John! Its been a long time since we’ve heard from you. We heard you joined the Sherrifs service. How have you been this whole time?”
“I lived well at the Sheriff’s” answered Little John. “And I came straight from there. See boss, I have brought back his cook and his silver.” Then he told Robin Hood and the men that were there all about what had happened to him since he left for the Fair. Everyone laughed. Except Robin Hood, who looked angry.
"Little John,"he said, "Youre a brave warrior and a trusty fellow. I am glad you brought yourself back to us, and with such a good companion as the Cook, whom we all welcome to Sherwood. But I dont like that youve stolen the Sheriff's plate like some petty thief. The Sheriff has been punished by us, and has lost three hundred bucks, even as he tried to con another man; but he didn’t do anything to warrant stealing his household plates from him."
Little John was annoyed by this and he tried to pass it off as a joke. “No boss,” he said “If you think the Sheriff didn’t give us his plates, then I’ll go get him and he can tell you with his own mouth that he gave it to us.” So he leaped to his feet and was gone before Robin Hood could stop him.
Little John ran for five miles till he came to where the Sheriff of Nottingham and company were hunting near the forest. When Little John came up to the Sheriff he tipped his cap and knelt before him. "God save you, good master," he said.
"Reynold Greenleaf!" cried the Sheriff, "Where’d you come from and where have you been?"
"I have been in the forest," answered Little John, speaking amazedly, "and I saw something no man has ever witnessed! I saw a young buck all in green from top to toe, and around him was a herd of 60 deer, and they, too, were all green from head to foot. I dared not shoot, good master, for fear they would kill me."
"What are you talking about, Reynold Greenleaf," cried the Sheriff, "are you crazy or are you high?"
"I’m not crazy or high," said Little John, "and if you’ll come with me, I will show you! I have seen it with mine own eyes. But you gotta come alone boss, in case the others frighten them and they get away."
So they all rode forward, and Little John led them down into the forest.
"Now, boss," he said at last, "we are near where I saw this herd."
Then the Sheriff got down from his horse and told them to wait for him until he gets back; and Little John led him forward through a path closed in with trees until suddenly they came to a great open field, at the end of which Robin Hood sat beneath the shade of the great oak tree, with his merry men all around him. "See, good Master Sheriff," said Little John, "There is the buck I told you about."
At this the Sheriff turned to Little John and said bitterly, "Long ago I thought I remembered your face, but now I know who you are. Shame on you, Little John, for betraying me today”
In the meantime Robin Hood had come to them. "Welcome, Master Sheriff," he said. "Have you come for another feast with me?"
“No, Heaven Forbid!” Said the sheriff earnestly, “I dont want a feast! I’m not hungry today!”
"Nevertheless," said Robin, "if youre not hungry, maybe youre thristy, and I know you will drink a glass of wine with me. But I am sorry that you wont feast with me, because you could have anything you want, anything you like, since your cook is standing right over there.”
Then he led the Sheriff, willy-nilly, to the seat he knew so well beneath the greenwood tree.
"Hey guys!" cried Robin, "fill our good friend the Sheriff a brimming glass of wine and bring it here, because he is too faint and weary to move."
Then one of the band brought the Sheriff a glass of wine, bowing low as he handed it to him; but the Sheriff could not touch the wine, because he saw it was served in one of his own silver flagons, on one of his own silver plates.
"Whats wrong?” asked Robin, "do you not like our new silverware? We have gotten a bag of it just today." So saying, he held up the sack of silver that Little John and the Cook had brought with them.
The Sheriff was bitter but dared not to say anything. He just looked at the ground. Robin looked at him keenly before he spoke again. “Now, Master Sheriff, the last time you came to Sherwood you did come looking to con a rich boy and you were conned yourself. But now, you didn’t come to do any harm. And I dont know that you’ve done any wrong to any man. I take my money from fat priests and rich knights, to help those that they’ve wronged and to elevate the people they trample on. But I don’t know of anyone you’ve wronged right now. So go ahead and take whats yours and I’ll let you leave without taking so much as one penny. Come on, I’ll lead you out of the forest and back to your friends.”
Then, slinging the bag over his shoulder, he turned away, the Sheriff following him, all too perplexed to speak. So they went forward until they came to within a hundred feet of the spot where the Sheriff's companions were waiting for him. Then Robin Hood gave the sack of silver back to the Sheriff. "Take whats yours," he said, "and listen to me, good Sheriff, take a piece of advice with it. Test your servants well before you hire them so quickly." Then, turning, he left the other standing bewildered, with the sack in his hands.
The company that waited for the Sheriff were all amazed to see him come out of the forest bearing a heavy sack upon his shoulders; but though they questioned him, he didn’t answer, acting dazed instead.. Without a word, he placed the bag across his horse's back and then, mounting, rode away. Everyone followed him. The whole time, the sheriff wrestled with his thoughts, over and over. And that’s the end of the story about Little John and how he once worked for the Sheriff.
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rant numero uno/ animal testing
ok i’ve been getting a lot of shit for this lately and i just want to say something. yes, i’ve grown up with animals, and so obviously i’m more partial towards them. Yes, i do eat meat. yes, i do believe animal testing is cruel. a lot of people have called me stubborn, bull headed. a lot of people have argued that it doesn’t affect them, so why should they care? just take a moment. you know what? the bombings going on all around the world, the starving children, the people living in poverty, the melting ice caps. those things have no affect on me, and while they may be causing problems in other places and could possibly hurt me in the future, they don’t affect me now, so why should i care? why should i care about the destruction of this world? why should i care about others who are suffering? who cares if in twenty years the melting ice caps leads into a dangerous atmosphere for me to live in? and then there are those people who make arguments like the ones i’m about to list. if you think animals should give consent, why do you have pets? why do you eat animals then? animals don’t have feelings, they don’t care. we are the apex predators. animals were put on this earth to be eaten. we were given the power to use them, why shouldn’t we take advantage of that? that’s right. i do believe that animal testing is unfair, because animals can not give their consent to be tested on, poked, prodded, tortured, leaving them possibly in pain for the rest of their lives or even worse, dead. yes, i do believe in human testing instead, because humans can give their consent. i understand that humans may not be willing to be tested on for things that will cause agony, but why should animals have to suffer through this if we refuse? and i’m not even just talking about cancer testing. we use animals to test out makeup products so we can know if they’re safe to wear, so we can look better. do you not see how fucked up that is? makeup is not a necessity in the least. we don’t need to enhance our features, we don’t need to look better, we don’t need to wear bright red lipstick for any reason whatsoever. makeup is completely frivolous. so why in the hell are we killing animals to make it? animals are tortured, covered in products that cause them to boil, blister, rash, bruise, ache, cry, burn and die, for our own fucking wants. for makeup. so yes, i do believe in human testing, because if we want longer eyelashes, we can suffer for it ourselves. now i get these annoying arguments like “if you believe animals should give consent, then did they give their consent to be held hostage in your home?” THESE ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. i would like to point out that first, i as an individual do have pets. rescued pets. pets taken off of streets. pets diagnosed with stress, anxiety, cancer. every single pet i own is rescued, whether it be from an abusive home or from their own body turning on them, they’ve all been rescued. and often times? they’ve been released back into their natural habitats when they’ve been fully healed. no, my animals do not give their consent. but do you really need to give someone permission to take you away from a dangerous and potentially live threatening situation and bring you to a warm and loving home where shelter and food are constantly provided? i dont. then there’s the argument as old as time. carnivores versus herbivores. this topic is a very broad, very thought out, very argued topic. i have my own opinions yes, but that’s not what i wanted to talk about. i wanted to talk about the fact that every time i say animal testing is wrong, people automatically accuse me of being a hypocrite because i eat meat. once again, these are very different things. people eat meat to survive. people eat meat to stay alive, and yes humans can live without meat, and yes i believe that’s a very good thing to live as vegetarians do, but i understand that not everyone can do that. i understand that certain nutrients provided by meat are needed by some people. no, i don’t enjoy the fact that animals are raised only to be slaughtered, separated and deprived from all love and happiness, and i don’t enjoy the fact that so many have to die so we can have a summer barbecue with the neighborhood. however, i do understand why people eat meat to survive, and this is why it pisses me off that people can accuse me of being a hypocrite for accepting a natural part of nature since before time while disagreeing with the torture of animals. of course, there’s always those people who make the apex predators argument. for those who don’t understand, they basically argue that humans were given the knowledge and power to be at the top of the food chain, and we deserve to rule over animals and use them as we choose because we developed the technology and scientific advancements to be able to do so. while i completely understand the thought process, it makes no fucking sense. so we were given these powers, this knowledge and capability, to make a significant and amazing effect of the world, and we choose to use it to torture animals and use them as we please? humans could do anything. we could develop a synthetic meat that tastes just like meat and gives us the same nutrients but doesn’t involve killing animals. oh wait, we did that. we could discover a way to live off of only what nature provides us, skipping the slaughtering and simply plucking a few berries. vegetarians anyone? WE COULD MAKE A FUCKING CHANGE. i’m still waiting on this one. how can anyone use the justification that we were given the power and therefore the right to do this? this is not taking advantage of our resources, this is abusing the powers we were blessed with. animal testing is cruel and unnecessary, but we have the technology to do it and the power to cage and torture these animals, so why not? i honestly question the morals of our society. there’s also the belief that animals were put on this earth for humans to eat. that’s a religious belief, or at least a belief of some faith. and sure, maybe that’s true and maybe your faith is true. but in no part of any faith i have ever come across has it been written out that these animals were put on this earth to serve our every whim. humans eat animals, just as lions eat antelope and birds eat worms. however, unlike the humans, lions and birds don’t go out of their way to not only over collect their prey, but to also torture them and use them to their visage’s advantage. no where does it say that animals were put on this earth to be over killed and tortured. no where. and if one doesn’t believe in a faith, how can they say animals were put on this earth for anything? science doesn’t put things in places. science only explains that things occur naturally. science can not say that animals were put on earth for humans to eat, so that argument becomes automatically invalid. i’m well aware that people will always argue with me, call me stupid, belittle me, make fun of me, and challenge me for what i believe in. i’m surrounded by a society of people who value animal lives as nothing more than the dirt beneath their feet. i’m also well aware that people will probably poke holes in my logic and argue that my points don’t make sense. but i don’t care, because you will never change my mind. i will always believe that animals are just as worthy as humans, and i will always stand up for their right to be protected just as humans are. i will have to go through the rest of my life, biting my tongue and wiping the frustrated tears from my eyes as i listen to people belittle animal worth and talk about how stupid i am to actually believe the things i do. but today, tomorrow, and always, i will continue to fight for these animals, because i believe all lives are equal and that’s how it should always be.
|animal testing| rant #01 mymouthmyrants
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goin through tma transcripts again making some more observations
i think im picking up on another potential thread here i didnt notice before
- in Growing Dark, natalie becomes obsessed with darkness. the lightbulbs appear to be going out because she’s intentionally unscrewing them, so it doesn’t seem to be the exact same as what was happening around montauk, but there’s a clear connection anyway (and mark bilham says the streetlights and the car headlights and everything all seemed darker than they should be when he went back to confront natalie, as well) jon suspects this but says it’s only a suspicion, and he isn’t sure. not sure why two different names were given (”the peoples church of the divine host” and “the hither green dissenters”) but it could just be two different names for the same group. jon doesn’t seem to know either
- Why Didn’t Kathy ASK Her What The Food Was and i also cant decide if i really want to know what it was or really DON’T want to know but i dont think it was spinach
- if it IS the same cult: if they were trying to summon the darkness, or worshipping it, or something, it doesn’t quite fit that montauk himself was apparently trying to keep this darkness away
but then, his killings began after his wife left, and she left the pendant behind when she did, so maybe she left the cult and that’s what made the darkness angry, but. julia doesn’t mention having ever seen her father wearing a pendant like that so it doesn’t seem like he himself was part of the cult before, and if his wife was the one involved/the one who left, why would the darkness be coming for him
or if she was... protecting him from it and now that she’s gone it’s coming after him why would she have left her pendant behind like that, if “I’m leaving the church” was something personal to her and wasn’t intended as a statement to him
- seems like there may be two rival cults clashing here, could be some kind of Fire/open eyes/Seeing vs Darkness/closed eye/Listening happening. the clown doll in Strange Music also had eyes painted shut, and that was centered on. strange music. and the darkness cult emphasizes losing sight but there’s that discordant singing
this is a theme i didnt pick up on until just now and i dont really want to go back through and search for Sight vs Sound in everything else right now but, hm. seems like there’s been a lot of creatures that don’t want to be Seen, things that resist all attempt to Prove them, things that don’t show their true forms visually. things that don’t show up on cameras even though they were there. things that you can only see properly when you’re not looking directly at it
the strange blonde man sasha encounters says “How would a melody describe itself when asked?” his appearance distorts in reflections and he describes himself as sound
something something magnus institute trying to cast Light and Understanding and Truth onto things that don’t want to be seen and don’t want to be understood. prentiss says in her statement - “I need it to be seen. To be seen in the cold light of knowledge is anathema to the things that crawl and slither and swarm in the corners and the cracks.”
so prentiss appears to be on the Darkness side/that makes the most sense but sasha notably discovers she can kill the worms with a fire extinguisher, while martin had noticed a partly burned worm that had apparently not been killed by fire before (and. timothy clearly did not escape the worms, regardless of whether he killed some of them or not). after prentiss was found the first time the complex burned down. i cant quite make sense of whats happening there
- there were screams heard in the abandoned chapel on the day gertrude died so something’s definitely going on there. the guy with the dream about her believed something unspeakably horrible was coming for her it doesn’t make sense that she was just shot, and “the unspeakable horror was Betrayal” seems like a cop out to me so i dont think thats it
- the guy in Burnt Offering was. under the effects of some kind of Burning Curse so that’s. pretty clear, but why were there pictures of gertrude in that clearing. the fuck is happening there
- I’m still trying to figure out what’s happening with Written Word vs Speech, maybe related to Seeing/Silence too, like. all these statements are written. jon is speaking them and at first i just thought he was really into the storytelling but now I’m starting to worry that the reason he sounds so different when he’s narrating the statements is that they’re. getting into him. somehow. like he’s some kind of a conduit for something. i don’t like that at ALL and i REALLY hope im wrong lmao
anyway then there’s Cheating Death, where nathaniel thorp says that his story is folklore which has never before been written down, so we have... oral tradition being spoken by an illiterate man, copied down in written word for the first time by the magnus institute (not sure if it’s relevant Who transcribed it, jon says it was a research assistant named Fiona Law, who died from what seems to be completely unrelated causes like 30 yeas later, so) and now being recited/spoken again by jon. and there’s probably something to the fact that thorp says it’s a legend/folklore but it turns out to have actually been his statement all along, so im not sure if he was... saying that the stories were about Him, or if the concept of “people who try to gamble with death become something stuck between death and life” was a story he grew up with and then discovered to be Real, or if none of it was folklore in the first place and just talking about it in a detached third person way was the only way he could do it
prentiss describes the magnus institute as “This place of books and learning, of sight and beholding” and seems not to trust in Words,
“There is no right word because for all your Institute and ignorance may laud the power of the word, it cannot even stretch to fully capture what I feel in my bones. What possible recourse could there be for me in your books and files and libraries except more useless ink and dying letters? I see now why the hive hates you. You can see it and log it and note it’s every detail but you can never understand it. You rob it of its fear even though your weak words have no right to do so.”
that also speaks to jon’s skepticism, everything “verifiable” about these statements does not make sense to the person’s actual experience, things keep happening that for whatever reason cannot be explained and understood, people who were THERE but theres no record of them existing, cave systems that are heavily mapped and documented but the actual experience of exploring them doesnt follow the documentation at all
after reading prentiss’ statement jon says “There are weird things out there that are perfectly natural. It’s not, though. I know it’s not natural.” which is... the first time ive noticed him actually looking at something that could be explained rationally (prentiss is a mentally ill woman with a very aggressive currently-unknown-to-science parasite) but instead follows his feeling that theres something more underneath it
he also. says this after having read the statement and remarks that “something in this statement has got to me a bit” and the... way he read it was very alarming and very..... Not His Voice. it worries me a LOT that something about these statements seems to be getting into him and ESPECIALLY that one
#lucy liveblogs tma#i found this in my drafts apparently i never posted it i think i was trying to get thoughts more coherently put together but#i think this is as good as its gonna be for now :')#i am so behind... i am so behind. one day i will catch up
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In the season premiere of Game of Thrones, Arya Stark became the MVP of Westeros, Lyanna Mormont put the men in their place and Dany came home.
Okay, I’ve had time to watch GOT a second time and my goodness!! So much has happened and it’s only the first episode! Let’s get to it, people.
HBO has really upped the “Previously On” portion of the show. Normally, we get a hodgepodge of what happened the previous season. No, not this time. Instead, it was a strategically placed mini movie of what transpired last season and it was still just as shocking. But it also reminded is that this season and the next (and sadly, the last) are all important in this great game of thrones. House Lannister is fighting for its very existence, House Stark is slowly coming together and House Targaryen is coming to take everything from everyone.
At the start of the show, we are at the Twins, where a very much alive Walder Frey is having a feast for all the men of his house. At first, I thought this was some kind of flashback. But damn was I so wrong. It was none other than Our Rebel Arya Stark, using the skills she learned as No One. She poisoned every male member of House Frey, killing them all and ending that house for good, possibly. Once it was done, she turned to one of the girls and said, “Tell them Winter came for House Frey.” A girl’s list has become one name shorter.
In the North, Meera and Bran arrived at The Wall. While waiting for the gate to open, Bran sees the Night King and the rest of the White Walkers (including the giant Wun Wun) are on the move in one of his visions. They bring the storm that will envelope all of Westeros with them. When the gate opens, a relieved Meera introduces them to the Night’s Watch, including the new Lord Commander. He’s skeptical at first, but when Bran mentions Hardhome, Ed’s face says it all. He commands his brothers to take Meera and Bran in before closing the gates against what’s to come.
At Winterfell, the King in the North Jon Snow is having a strategy meeting. He wants dragon glass to be mined and forged into weapons against the White Walkers and he wants everyone ready to fight, including the girls. Of course, Lord Glover has a problem with that. But Lady Lyanna Mormont (the amazing Bella Ramsey) steps up and lets Glover know a few things. “I don’t plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl. But I am every bit as much a Northerner as you.” Glover tried to cow to her but she interrupted him and said, “And I don’t need your permission to defend the North.” That’s right you don’t!!! She shut that fool down! Lady Lyanna needs to be in every episode until the end of the series.
Now if only Lyanna could talk some sense into Jon. The newly-crowned King is already being a butthead. He decided to punish the houses that did not stand with House Stark against the Boltons by . . . giving them back their houses. WHAAAATTT?? WTF, Jon? The Umbers and Karstarks left you high and dry and now you want to say, “hey it’s alright that you betrayed my house and sided with a maniac. It’s all good.” COME ON!! Sansa, who knows more about dealing with traitors and usurpers than Jon, tried to talk some sense into her brother, but to no avail. He shut her down, which you know is going to be a problem later on down the line. Afterwards, Jon and Sansa argue, with Jon basically telling his sister to stop giving him useful and smart information in front of other people. “Joffrey never let anyone question him, do you think he was a good king?” Like I said, Sansa knows what she’s talking about. But will Jon listen?
Back at King’s Landing, the new Queen is contemplating her next move. Jaime is a little spooked at what his sister/lover has accomplished while he was away. She’s killed all of her enemies, blown the Sept of Baelor to the heavens and crowned herself Queen. But she hasn’t talked about King Tommen’s death. In case you’ve forgotten, Tommen jumped out of a window when he realized his mother killed his wife. Cersei underestimated her son’s love for his wife and now feels betrayed by him. With her actions being more and more brutal, it’s only logical that Jaime wonder if he’ll be next on his sister’s hit list. But she has other plans.
Euron Greyjoy came to King’s Landing to offer his ships and his “two good hands” to Cersei. With Jaime standing right next to her. But Cersei isn’t convinced. “You killed your own brother.” “You should try it. Feels wonderful.” Okay, that was funny. But Jaime didn’t think so. Luckily, Cersei turned down Euron’s proposal but he doesn’t give up so easily. He promised to bring her what she wants and lay it at her feet. What could it be?
At the Citadel, Samwell is settling in nicely. And by nicely, I mean he’s cleaning shit, serving food that looks like shit and doing basic library duties. He looks miserable. But he deals with it, because Sam wants something. He wants to get into the forbidden section of the library. But how to do it? Well, he talks up one of the maesters to see if he can gain access. Sam tells Archmaester Ebrose about the White Walkers. In his roundabout way, the Archmaester tells Sam that he believes him, but doesn’t give him access to the forbidden section. So, Sam takes things into his own hands and steals the keys from the maester who does have access. Back in his quarters, he reads through the materials with Gilly and Little Sam beside him. Gilly has learned to read and begins reading “Legends of the Long Night.” Sam comes across a map of Dragonstone showing a mountain of dragon glass under the structure. He begins composing a letter to Jon about this new revelation. Will this lead to a Jon/Dany meet and greet?
Back at Winterfell, Brienne is teaching Pod to help him with his sword skills. She gets the best of him each time, but then here comes Tormund with his sly smile and that red hair. He distracts Brienne for a moment, giving Pod a chance to best her. She punches him in the gut for his trouble, with Tormund telling him, “You’re a lucky man.” He smiles at Brienne, leaving her a little flustered (or pissed off, it’s hard to tell). Sansa is watching the exchange when Littlefinger walks up behind her, whispering things. If anything happens between Sansa and Jon, it won’t be Littlefinger who causes it. He thinks he has sway over Sansa, and if we judge her by her past, he would be right. But she’s been through hell and back and is with her family again. Lord Baelish is in for a surprise if he thinks she’s the same girl she once was.
In the Riverlands, Arya comes across some Lannister soldiers, young boys all of them. One just happened to be singer Ed Sheeran, which honestly felt a bit weird. His part was small (thank God), but his presence felt fake, like he just didn’t belong. Maybe it’s because no major players outside of the ones that have been with the show from the beginning have ever appeared. Hopefully, he’ll be the last. Anywho, the soldiers invite Arya to some of their rabbit, leaving her conflicted. Normally, she would have slaughtered them all. But they all just want to go home and be with their families. They’re just like her. They have no idea how lucky they are.
The Hound and the Brotherhood are on the move, as well. Only, the snow and cold have made an appearance. They look for shelter and come across a home that is all too familiar to Clegane. It’s the same home where he Arya sought shelter before Clegane left the farmer and his young daughter to die. He’s spooked at being there and is cranky the entire time. Once inside, he sees the bodies of the two who died, unbeknownst to Beric Dondarrion and Thoros. While Thoros builds a fire, Clegane asks Beric why the Lord of Light keeps bringing him back. Beric has no idea, leaving The Hound with more questions than answers. Thoros calls Clegane over to the fire and asks him what he sees. At first, he sees nothing but “burning logs,” but when he looks again, he sees The Wall, East Watch by the Sea and the White Walkers marching. Rattled by what he’s seen, Clegane buries the two bodies in the middle of the night. He handles their bones gently and puts them each in the ground. Thoros helps and is surprised after their done when Clegane says a prayer.
Back at the Citadel, Sam is collecting the empty bowls from the infirm when an arm covered in grey scale shoots out of one of the slots. The arm belongs to none other than Jorah Mormont, and my friends, he ain’t lookin’ so good. The grey scale has traveled over his entire arm but we don’t know if that is all. Jorah’s face is in shadow so we don’t know the extent of the damage. But he doesn’t care about that. Jorah wants to know if Dany has come to Westeros. Sam tells him that he hasn’t heard anything, shutting the slot on Jorah and his disease.
Well, to answer his question, yes, Dany has arrived in Westeros. She is in a small rowboat with Tyrion, Missandei, Grey Worm and Varys. As they come up to her family home, the dragons fly ahead, circling the castle, which sits high up on a hill. Dany walks on Targaryen land, then kneels to touch the ground. Two of her Unsullied open the front gates, and she sees her home for the first time. The group walk up the path to the castle. When they walk in, the first thing Dany sees is a Lannister banner. She pulls it down to the floor, looking at it with disgust. She walks over to the throne, which looks way more badass than the Iron Throne, to be honest. Grey Worm tries to follow her, but Missandei pulls him back. Dany must do this alone. She looks at the throne, but walks by it. The time is not right for her to sit upon the throne. So, she walks into the war room where Stannis once stood, plotting his way to the Iron Throne and ultimately, his death. Dany runs her hands along the carved table while Tyrion admires the stone dragons on the walls. They both glance at each other before Dany finally utters the words we’ve all been waiting for: “Shall we begin?” Yes!
How will this great war begin? Who will make the first move? And will any of them be strong enough to fight the Night King?
Stay tuned.
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9pm on HBO. Photos courtesy of HBO.
Game of Thrones – Season 7 Premiere-“Dragonstone” In the season premiere of Game of Thrones, Arya Stark became the MVP of Westeros, Lyanna Mormont put the men in their place and Dany came home.
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